P is for Passion [A-Z of Step-Parenting]

Passion, or more accurately the opportunities to follow my own passions, severely decline once a step family are joined together.

I don’t just mean the amorous kind of passion which is achieved between the freshly pressed bed sheets. Of course this is true and a stolen kiss becomes as exciting as a long weekend together once was.

The truth is the passion for hobbies and activities increase as the time to complete them decreases. In my situation the passion for golf, football and gardening has become so intense I’m becoming a bore on all three subjects and the opportunity to turn a conversation in that direction is taken at every opportunity.

However I have now become passionate about a hobby that I would never have dreamed of in the past. Skateboarding. I have no physical experience of the sport but I know almost everything there is to know about it.

As you have guessed my two lads are heavily into ‘skating’ and as a result so am I. I know the difference between an ‘ollie’ and a ‘tail grab’. I am able to distinguish between flexible and stiff ‘trucks’. I know it’s not cool to skate in designated skate parks unless it’s run by a ‘skater’ rather than the local council. If you can’t beat them you might as well join them.

I have become moderately annoyed by bus drivers who refuse to allow the boys and their pals on the bus simply because they are carrying a board. I have phoned local councillors and asked them to clarify whether it’s acceptable for people to skate certain areas. I have driven hundreds of miles to desperate towns in order to watch teenage boys jump from varying heights with a skateboard under them.

Why do I do this? Why do I know these mundane facts? Why do I care? Simple – because my degree of passion towards the lads experiencing something they enjoy increases with every obstacle that is placed in front of them.

I have to be careful though that passion doesn’t turn into obsession. Visiting every skate park in the country could not only be damaging to my health it could cause a cardiac arrest for my bank manager.

This is part sixteen of the “A-Z of Step-Parenting” series by Paul Nevitt, a 33-year-old male with plenty of experience of living with stepchildren. Visit his adoption blog too.