If the fires of passion in your marriage have been reduced nearly to embers, then you are not alone. One of the most common problems that can damage a marriage is the loss of spark, or spice, or whatever you like to call it. It’s really not so easy to get yourself or your partner “in the mood” once you have become very familiar with each other. Of course, it’s wonderful to be familiar with your spouse because familiarity is the basis of intimacy. But intimacy is not the same as passion, is it? Routine is the culprit. If the proper countermeasures are not deployed against routine’s assault on your relationship, then it will drain all the passion right out of your marriage. Routine is a tenacious killer of passion – a suspect in the deaths of over 1 million steamy romances. I know routine comes in very handy for showers and oil changes, but it has no place in the bedroom.
Fight it! Fight boredom and routine! It’s going to take a little effort to rekindle those flames, but armed with the right tactics you will succeed! Some of the ideas I will mention may seem rather basic, and most are simple and easy. Just try them. You have already begun to make more of an effort by reading this article; now don’t just think about how nice it would be to do some of these things with your spouse – the only way for this to happen is for you to take action!
Have you ever noticed how a change of venue can be very exciting? That’s right – just being together in a place that’s not your bedroom can have an almost magical effect. Use this strange phenomenon to your advantage. Get yourselves a nice hotel room on a Saturday night. First have dinner, and then go for a swim in the hotel pool. Be playful and flirty with your spouse. Don’t put any pressure on them; just be affectionate and playful throughout the evening together and let things happen naturally. A hand on their thigh, a whisper in their ear or a kiss on the neck are all great for reminding your partner what’s waiting for them. Now, go up to your room and let the strange surroundings take effect.
Try reading your spouse an erotic bedtime story. Let it be spontaneous. Don’t let them know it’s a sexy story before you begin, maybe even disguise the book with a different cover. This can be an easy way to get your spouse to try something new. If they hear it in the story, then it might be their idea to try it. Most people of either sex find erotic stories to be very arousing.
Bring a video camera into the bedroom. Be careful, but have fun. Actually it’s the element of danger and the sense of voyeurism that makes this exciting.
Buy a sexy little costume to surprise your spouse with. Ladies, men always have and always will love the sexy French maid outfit. Men, never let your wives see you in a dingy pair of tighty-whities.
Write notes to your spouse. Hide a romantic message in a briefcase or handbag. In fact, it’s little romantic gestures that help lay the groundwork for romance building. Let your partner know that they excite you. They will be excited knowing that you’re excited. Send flowers for no special occasion, just to delight the love of your life.
The key is just making a small effort. Changing things up for excitement, and making little romantic gestures. When your spouse sees you making an effort to bring back the passion, they will make one right along with you.
Slade Hartwell, Webmaster at //www.ezromantic.com
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