A surefire way to get the spark back into your relationship 5

This is a guest post by Anne Davies.

Recently things had been going off colour with me and my partner. Usually we are very close and get on fabulously, however, a feeling of disconnection was beginning to dawn on us. Our work days are very different, these differences include working hours as well as job type, so by the time we got to catch up in the evening he would be exhausted and I would have more energy. This meant bed for him and boredom for me.

It got to point that we were arguing all the time and rarely having sex, we both still loved each other but there was a lingering feeling of dissatisfaction. After a few too many glasses of wine one evening, we decided to confront the elephant in the room, this ended up in a dramatic conversation which tipped over to the: “Do we need some space” side. Unsure of what to do, we went to bed feeling confused and sad. Wide awake and trying to find a solution I came up with a bizarre method that I thought might be just the thing we needed. Excited that I had found the answer, I waited until the morning to put it forward to him.

Annoyed at my suggestion, my partner said that he thought my weird counselling method was ridiculous and that he wasn’t even going to entertain the idea! A few hours later he called from work with a change of heart, we decided to give it a go.

Relationship Saver Idea: A two week sex ban

I worked out that if we removed the pressure of sex we might start to get on better. With him being tired all the time, he had the control over our sex life, his energy levels dictating when we could get intimate, leading to a complete lack of romance and spontaneity. By removing the sex, we would be exposed to the bare bones of our relationship. How would we get on? Would removing sex make us want it more?

One week into the sex ban:

A definite improvement on quality time, a couple of dates led to great chats and enjoying each others company. Bed time felt a lot less stressful as we both knew there was no action in store; this meant that neither of us had false expectations.

My sex drive: Low
His sex drive: High

Two weeks into the sex ban:

A return to kissing and foreplay; our previous sex life had been fitted into a timeslot of convenience with little room for these types of intimacies. Suddenly we couldn’t keep our hands off each other! Neither of us discussed breaking the ban. We both enjoyed having it there, after all there wasn’t much time to go.

My sex drive: High
His sex drive: High

Six months after completing the sex ban

We both feel that this ban was a great decision and things have been so much better since. Taking a step back and taking away what was being taken for granted allowed us to look at one another in a fresh light. It also worked as a great sexual enhancer; we reignited the lustful feelings that we started with. I would recommend this to any couples that would like a new outlook and perspective on their relationship.

Anne Davies guest blogs on a range of topics all over the web, discussing affordable bridal sets to relationship woes.

5 thoughts on “A surefire way to get the spark back into your relationship

  • Catherine Ngugi

    This article has triggered my mind. I tend to agree that sometimes we evade resolving the real issues, by having sex as a way of procrastinating issues. This is definitely a way of addressing issues that are normally left unattended. Great reading.

  • Helen

    Generally married couples can take each other for granted and forget the efforts that they made in the beginning of the relationships. Both partners need to make the effort when it comes to their appearance and attitudes towards each other. Get back into shape should always left for the women as they seem to always be dieting so should the men in there lives. When it comes to bedroom perhaps dressing up into some sexy lingerie. I always found this to be a good method to spice up the bedroom scence. I found a website that has some sexy lingerie called wondawoman.co.uk the service is great orders generally take upto 3 days but that gives me time to prepare for those special nights. Rekindle that lost passion ladies…;)

  • Igor

    Hmmm, I do alot of 3 week challenges in my life (like no TV for 3 weeks, a certain diet for 3 weeks, so on and so forth, whatever comes to mind).

    This actually seems like a great idea! I can not believe I never thought to do the 3 week challenges in the relationship.

    As those challenges greatly enrich my life, I am certain they will do the same for the relationship too.

    Thanks for the article Anne!

  • Wolf Krammel

    Talking more with each other and discussing about the day routines can also further strengthen the bonding between the couples. Also, taking her on dates and acting as if you are on your very first date can also trigger that spark in a relationship.

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