Low sex drive in men more common than the stereotype suggests

Men are always thinking about sex and would have sex all the time if possible.

That’s the basic stereotype of a man, always ready to have sex as many times as possible, right?

And yet, it seems that low sex drive amongst men is a far greater issue than that stereotype would have us believe.

According to recent research from the US, one in five men suffer with a very low sex drive, meaning that they find it difficult or impossible to have sex without the aid of medication. The figure for females is thought to be around 33%.

The main causes are attributed to stress, depression, shame, and anger.

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Turn”down time” into “family time”

Down time? What on earth is that?

Yes, I expect we all know what the phrase means, but there seems to be precious little of it around.

Despite this, it’s highly likely that there are small pockets of “down time” in between all of life’s busyness. These are the times that can be turned into “family time”.

We don’t need hours of time to enjoy being with the people we love,” said Lissa Coffey, family and relationships expert for Hasbro games and author of Getting There! 9 Ways to Help Your Kids Learn What Matters Most in Life. “Catching moments here and there, at home or while waiting at the doctors office, helps to create memories and will build strong, lasting relationships.”

She comes up with some ideas for making the most of short pockets of time that could otherwise slip past.

Green Therapy

To avoid “nature deficit disorder”, get outside — even for just a few minutes. Not only does it distract kids from modern entertainment, but it helps them to appreciate both the family, and the natural world around them.

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Financial problems: make your partner your first contact

Professionals who offer advice to people in financial difficulty state how important it is to maintain active and open communication with those with whom you have a financial relationship with.

This is usually taken to mean creditors, your mortgage lender, your bank, and your landlord, but if you are married or in a committed long-term relationship, the person you should have the closest financial relationship with is your partner.

Regardless of how you have decided to run your financial lives together - be it completely joined, completely separate, or somewhere in between - you still have a commitment to one another in every area of your life.

It’s no surprise that money can cause all sorts of relationship problems if not dealt with openly and honestly, and yet a survey last year showed that many people would not share their credit score with their partner.

That’s just one example.

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5 ways to celebrate National Grandparents’ Day

September 9th is “National Grandparents’ Day”, and members of the Los Angeles Jewish Home, the largest group of 90-year-olds in the US, have come up with their top five tips on how people of all ages, with or without grandparents, can mark the day.

1. Visit: If you don’t have one, visit residents of a nearby home and perhaps share a meal or conversation. Sixty percent of nursing home residents never have a visitor. The enriching benefit for young and old of such interaction is incalculable.

2. Write a note: If you can’t visit, send an old-fashioned note or card. Though computer use is on the upswing with seniors, remember that “good writing is clear thinking made visible;” and everyone likes to receive something personal — like a poem or artwork — in the mail.

3. Call: And if you forget to send a note in time, give a call. In a world of text messaging, taking the time to call goes a long way.

4. Ask questions: Grandparents are usually the ultimate repository of family history. Knowing it is being passed down to future generations is often a comfort to everyone in the family.

5. Adopt: People of all ages are willing to make new friends. Many seniors are not fortunate to have a family nearby. There are thousands of seniors who would love to be a foster grandparent.

Singles with pets can reduce your chances of finding love by up to 40%

Pet-owning singletons looking for love may be disappointed, as research from a leading UK dating agency suggesting that chances of finding a successful human love interest is reduced by up to 40%.

Key findings of the research included:

• Nearly half of all singles — 6.1 million — now own a pet.
• Singles spend £5.6 billion each year pampering their pets.
• One in four men wouldn’’t date a woman with two or more cats.
• A third of women won’’t date a man who shares his pillow with a pet.
• If push came to shove 25% of singles would choose their pet over a new partner.
• Nearly two thirds of singles say they really love their pet and think of him/her as a member of the family.
• The main reason for the dating dilemma is purely medical: pet allergies.

Dr Victoria Lukats, psychiatrist and PARSHIP’s dating and relationship expert commented, ““People invest a lot in their pets emotionally, but whilst some singles may see their pets as surrogate partners or children, this research shows that these people are in the small minority. Rather than the stereotype of a spinster with several cats, the reality is that many singles simply enjoy owning a pet but they would probably put their human relationships first.”

UK Law Commission calls for more rights for unwed couples

A report by the Law Commission calls for unwed couples to have more legal rights.

It claims that most couples living together still believe they are protected by a “common law” marriage, when in fact this isn’t true.

The report calls for a financial value to be put on the contribution each person brings to the relationship. This would mean that financial compensation would be given to someone who gives up work to look after children, if the relationship ends.

The Commission denies that their proposals undermine marriage. Earlier this month the Conservative party called for a number of financial incentives for married couples. The two proposals aren’t mutually exclusive.

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Parental divorce is key factor in break-ups amongst their children

This may sound obvious to some, but a new study suggests that the rate of relational and marital breakup was higher amongst those whose parents had divorced.

The study looked at other factors, such as genetics or parental substance abuse, but found that divorce itself was a key factor that lead to the higher rate in children.

Brian D’Onofrio, assistant professor in the Department of Psychological and Brain Sciences at Indiana University Bloomington, said that when a host of variables are taken into consideration, such as genetic risks and socioeconomic factors, the real divorce still accounts for around 66 percent of the increased risk of divorce faced by children of divorced parents. “This means the transmission is not due to psychological or substance abuse problems that are passed from parents to the offspring. It’s something very unique about the separation of one’s parents. The societal implications are very important because divorce is such a painful experience for both adults and children. This further suggests that interventions specifically targeted at the consequences of divorce are important for our society,” D’Onofrio said.

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Back to school tips for helping your child manage peer pressure

The Californian Association of Marriage and Family Therapists has put together a list of six things parents can do to help with the burden of peer pressure:

1. Talk about drinking, drugs, and other harmful behaviour, maintaining open communication and understanding your children’s opinions.
2. Talk about your children’s concerns and pressures.
3. Help your child to prioritise important items and form achievement goals.
4. Use TV and movies to start discussions about appropriate and inappropriate ways of responding to negative classmates and peer pressure.
5. Invite your children’s friends home and understand the social groups they are in.
6. Address concerns your children have quickly, ensuring they don’t develop into long-term problems. Consider your children’s point-of-view when resolving image issues.

www.therapistfinder.com

Over one-third of US births to unmarried mothers, survey suggests

New data released by the Federal Interagency Forum on Child and Family Statistics suggests that, in 2005, births to unmarried mothers accounted for over one-third of the total births in the United States, at 37%.

However, pregnancy amongst teenagers fell, thanks to reduced sexual activity, or the increased use of contraception.

The report, perhaps controversially, also suggests that children born to unmarried mothers are more likely to have a lower birth weight, higher mortality rate, and are at higher risk of living in poverty.

Having said that, single mothers who have significant economic resources don’t generally have these problems.

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Many men willing to get involved to prevent domestic violence and sexual assault

According to new research by Peter D Hart Research Associates on behalf of the Family Violence Prevention Fund, over half of men think it’s very or fairly likely that, at some point in their lives, they will know a victim of domestic violence or sexual assault, and most are willing to take action to raise awareness, help victims, and promote healthy, violence-free relationships.

“Across the board, men want more done to stop domestic violence and sexual assault,” said Verizon (who supported the research) Wireless President and CEO Lowell McAdam. “Men are ready to do their part by talking to the next generation, donating wireless phones to help victims and more. Verizon Wireless will continue its commitment to stop violence, and encourages men — and women — to take action.”

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Relationship Links: 12 April 2007

Some interesting articles read today:

• The Procreation Initiative
• Are You Man Enough to… ‘Man’-cation?
• Moving In Together: Does it Lead to a Ring?
• Making the Teen Years your Best Years
• Hip Moms Redefine Parenting
• 11 Must-Ask Questions Before Your Wedding Day
• Who Wears the Pants in Your Relationship?

British society dramatically changing: 25% of children are in single-parent families

The number of lone mothers bringing up children has tripled since the 1970s, and a quarter of British children now grow up in a single-parent family (predominantly with their mother).

Marriage rates have dropped from 480,000 in 1972 to just 284,000 last year.

Divorce levels are almost at 2 out of every 3 marriages.

Cohabitation (living together outside of the traditional marriage) has risen from 12% to 24%.

Adding strain to both traditional and new expressions of the ‘family unit’ is the fact that, primarily for financial reasons, children are staying longer in the parental home.

When they do move out, typically some time in their 20s, they can afford only smaller properties, usually flats, which can lead to disputes with neighbours due to living in more confined living spaces.

The number of men and women between the ages of 25 and 44 living alone has doubled in the past 20 years.

This can lead to a lack of community and a breakdown of trust.

A BBC article concludes on this issue:

Britain is not alone in seeing family breakdown and social isolation but it is as acute here as almost anywhere and arguments over the causes and the consequences have made this increasingly political territory.

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