Breastfeeding - a father’s perspective

Breastfeeding is widely considered to be the best start for baby, not only providing nutrient-packed food but also forming a bond between mother and child. In this interesting article, Stuart Hutchings shares a father’s perspective.

Breastfeeding is the most natural thing to do. It is one of the most important things that you can do to give your child the very best start in life and it is likely to be the first most important decision a mother and family will make about their baby’s health and upbringing.

We may all possibly be aware of the major benefits to mother and baby that breastfeeding confers.

But it does take commitment from both mother and family.

Possibly one of the biggest issues is that breastfed babies often spend more time ‘at the breast’ than formula fed children do whilst being fed; this is purely because bottle-feeding is functional (the activity only provides food). Breastfeeding however provides food and nurturing. It is common for the baby to snuggle up to mother and fall asleep whilst feeding in this comfortable, secure environment (this intimacy leads to bonding which is a very important aspect of breastfeeding). For this reason I personally thought for the first six months that our new baby did not have a face! I only ever saw the back of his head! This leads on to more practical matters such as making sure mother and baby are comfortable for these periods and as happy and secure as you can make them both. Although this can mean a lot of ‘nurse-maiding’ it is wise for dads to remember that they are part of a team giving baby the best food, on tap, when he or she needs it. It comes out of the breast ‘ready to serve’ and is tailored to the baby’s age and nutritional needs. There are also no bottles to worry about, no formulas to mix, you don’t have to worry about sterilising everything, getting the temperature right, and, baby’s poo even smells better!!

Breastfeeding is not just the best source of food but also a good source of comfort and security. Mother’s bonding with her child can start here, if it has not already happened during pregnancy; breastfeeding is the most natural way of bonding. The eye-to-eye and skin-to-skin contact that breastfeeding requires strengthens the attachment and bonding between mother and child. Breastfeeding helps mother to get to know and understand her baby. It is an important step in building a trusting relationship that extends well beyond baby years; it is not just the best source of food for a growing baby but the ultimate in terms of safety and security. There are some emotional adjustments to be made. Family members may become jealous of the intimacy and attachments that occur between mother and baby through breastfeeding. From a father’s perspective, one sometimes has to wrestle with one’s feelings for baby, as this new-comer muscles in on what was your sole territory. But this time is very important for mother and baby, and it is often easy to forget that a family’s job is to care for and support mother as well as baby. The help required from family members is very important but the most important is the care and support from dad. He can provide physical and emotional reassurance, he can head off discouragement and negative criticisms from other family members, and he can make mother comfortable whilst breastfeeding with such simple things as providing food and drinks, or even helping with the household chores or with other siblings.

Sleeping can also be an awkward time. If you do not want to sleep with baby in the bed, the cot should be placed in close proximity so that mother can virtually ‘do it in her sleep’. But here breastfeeding can be a major benefit to other family members because they may not be woken in the middle of the night. Mother simply attaches the baby and satisfaction is guaranteed!

There are other lifestyle modifications that are required for breastfeeding:

• Having the right clothing to allow easy access for baby
• Being willing to stop your routine for unplanned feeds
• Continuing with a cessation of drinking and smoking
• Watching what drugs or medications are taken

There are many other reasons that breastfeeding should be the first choice food for babies.

Just remember breastfeeding can be good for baby, mother and family - breast milk is perfectly formulated to meet your baby’s nutritional needs and…

It’s what breasts were designed for!

Breast really is best.

For more extensive information on breastfeeding its benefits and practical implications visit breastfeeding at From Little Acorns Academy

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Chile: Violent mother beats daughter to death for failing homework

One fatal case amongst hundreds of thousands of appalling cases of child abuse is that of a 26-year-old woman from Chile who beat and kicked her daughter to death because she had not finished her school homework.

Erna Rivera admitted losing her temper, punching and kicking her and throwing her against furniture, according to Mauricio Lara of the police homicide division. The girl died on the eve of her tenth birthday.

The woman’s partner had already been accused of family violence in the previous year, but it’s not known if the case was investigated by authorities.

As if it needed stating, it proves that some people just do not know how to bring up a child, nor handle their own emotions and actions. Of course, we don’t know anything about the mother’s situation, but if she already had an alleged history of violence towards family members, something should have been done sooner to protect the child. Of course, with hindsight it’s easy to say that, but it’s yet another case where tragedy has struck.

(Via Yahoo! News)

UK mums get 23 minutes “me time” per day, dads 4.5 hours: how to unwind

A recent research study by the online games company PopCap (the relevance of which will become apparent in a moment), in association with The Stress Management Society, suggests that British mums get, on average, just 23 minutes of “me time” each day, whereas dads enjoy around four-and-a-half hours of leisure time daily.

I’m sure this isn’t true across the board, but the study suggests that dads get plenty of time to enjoy such stress-busting activities as going to the gym, taking a leisurely lunch hour (they obviously never worked in the offices I did), watching TV, hobbies such as football or golf, or just reading the newspaper whilst going to the loo.

Mums, on the other hand, use the sub-half-hour break to grab a cuppa or a quick swig of wine, smoke a cigarette, or eat a snack. The study suggests that this type of break can actual be counterproductive, because the amount of time and actual activity doesn’t allow for mum to unwind from the daily stress.

PopCap would like to suggest that, as well as physical exercise which can reduce stress levels, pressure, and anger, and activities such as yoga which can stretch both mind and body, a five-minute “cyber-break” with one of their online games can help lower stress levels, by reducing blood pressure, and slowing the breathing and heart rate.

Cathy Orr, European PR Director at PopCap, said, “The disparity in down time between mums and dads is staggering. Even if mums can’t change their quantity of ‘Me time’, they can still positively affect the quality of the time they have available. A recent study in association with The Stress Management Society showed that playing casual games on sites like www.popcap.com for as little as 5 minutes a day has stress relieving benefits. If time-poor mums replace their cuppa with a quick PopCap session, it will help relax, recharge and refocus their minds to face the rest of the day.”

Don’t underestimate the power of a cuppa, though.

Daily Mail columnist tirades against environmentally unfriendly mothers

Though many of us expect nothing less than grossly stereotypical, sweeping generalisations from the writers at The Daily Mail tabloid paper, Liz Jones has pushed the boat out by having a real go a mothers, and children, for being environmentally and socially unfriendly.

Based upon a few negative images she has of parenting, every mother is now somehow in the wrong.

Granted, I am sure there are some disturbed or misguided people who see children as some kind of “status symbol”. They’re sick, but they’re not the majority (at least, I hope not).

She has a rather old-fashioned view of working mothers:

No one is allowed to complain when they are left to pick up the slack as every mum in the office hares out of the door at six on the dot, millions of plastic carrier bags in tow, hell-bent on creating a nappy mountain.

Heaven forbid that she ever meet a conscientious mother who successfully juggles the demands of both work and family life, as well as doing her bit for the environment.

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New UK maternity legislation discourages business from employing women

New research by the software company Citrix Online suggests that over half of the employers surveyed believe new maternity legislation introduced in Britain on 1st April this year is making some managers think twice about recruiting women.

34% of small and medium-sized businesses (SMBs) were unaware of the new legislation, which includes the extension of statutory maternity pay from 6 to 9 months, and the removal of qualifying criteria so that all mothers are entitled to 12 months of maternity leave.

30% of employers surveyed thought that it would be harder to retain talented women in the workforce, while 26% thought the latest changes would have a commercially negative impact.

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Over half of new mums have gone 24 hours without sleep

A UK survey has shown that over half of new mums have gone for a full 24 hours without sleep. Many have reported a feeling of loneliness as the social life drops away, and some have even started to lose the bond with their baby through lack of sleep.

Around three-quarters (72 per cent) of the women surveyed said tiredness put a strain on their relationship with their partner, causing arguments for half of them.

Sleep deprivation can cause depression and a weak immune system as well as the more immediate problems of irritability and difficulties with concentration and co-ordination.

Almost half (44 per cent) of the 796 mums surveyed for Johnson’s Baby, said they don’t like talking to anyone due to exhaustion, 65 per cent don’t leave the house after asleep less night and nearly one third of mums (31 per cent) suffered loneliness.

More worryingly, for 17 per cent of new mothers, the sleepless nights have had a negative impact on their bond with their baby.

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