Grandparents take on influential role when couples separate

The imminent separation of a couple, particularly those with children, can be painful for friends and extended family as well as for those directly involved, yet those surrounding a couple often play a significant role in working things through.

A YouGov survey of one thousand separated parents (with children under the age of 18) found that only a quarter turned to a solicitor while three in five sought the advice of parents, siblings and friends.

The notable statistic is that almost one in three said that they turned to their parents (i.e. their kids’ grandparents) for help.

With such significance placed upon grandparents, Child Maintenance Options has launched its Grandparents’ Guide to Child Maintenance that aims to give all the information needed to ensure their grandchildren are properly provided for.

The guide includes sections outlining what child maintenance is and how it can be arranged, how it is calculated and what to do if the couple involved are not on speaking terms or a parent stops paying.

“More and more grandparents and other members of the family and friends of separating couples are calling our helpline, seeking guidance on their behalf,” says Janet Paraskeva, Chair of the Child Maintenance Options.

“A quarter of those using our website are 55 and over and many are grandparents. As a result we have decided to prepare this simple guide to child maintenance. We hope it will provide grandparents with the facts they need to offer the practical support that should lead to more children benefiting from effective child maintenance arrangements.”

The guide can be downloaded for free from CMOptions.org. Alternatively, call the Child Maintenance Options helpline on 0800 988 0988 to request a copy.

Should “Grandparents Law” be introduced in Britain?

Many people believe in the important role that grandparents play in the upbringing of children, despite the fact that Western society has changed significantly over the past few decades, and that the idea of a connected family is quite different to that in many Eastern countries.

That being the case, there are still cases where grandparents are unable to see their grandchildren due to familial breakdown and a lack of communication, and it seems to be for this reason that the Conservatives have suggested that grandparents will be given greater recognition under a Tory government.

In cases where parents split and divorce, new laws could ensure that grandparents are still granted access to their grandchildren, or even be given priority in custody cases, depending on the circumstances.

David Shields, from the Grandparents’ Association, said that the current law means grandparents have no voice or say at all. “They have no more rights than a stranger. They don’t even have a right to stay in touch with their grandchildren,” he told the Daily Mail.

We hear stories of grandparents who, after sharing many happy times with their grandkids, and helping out their children and inlays, are told they can no longer see them because of acrimonious divorce and custody battles.

It seems a great shame that the only way for generations of a family to see one another is through the legal system, but perhaps that’s better than nothing.

In the ideal world, even in split families, children would naturally be able to see their grandparents on both the maternal and paternal side without the need for people to fight over them.

Children so often get used as pawns in messy separations, and grandparents could even provide some much needed stability in times of turmoil.

No separation is totally without mess. Perhaps a change in the law would help all those involved in particularly messy scenarios, while more amicable (or, at least, accommodating) families can sort things out for themselves.

What do you think? Does Britain need a change in the law to boost grandparents’ rights?

What Are We Doing To Our Kids?: BBC Wales fortnight of programmes begins

BBC Cymru Wales is to begin a fortnight of programmes looking at the changing nature of childhood through the generations, beginning with What Are We Doing To Our Kids? on Monday 16th March.

As part of the project, the Institute of Welsh Affairs (IWA) surveyed a number of Welsh parents, grandparents and children to find out more about their experiences of growing up.

Highlights of the research included:

• Today’s children are more confident and relaxed about speaking with adults
• Parents are concerned about the safety of their children and on letting them have freedom outside the home
• The media paints an unrealistic, fatalistic picture of the dangers facing children that could mean they fail to develop a realistic view of the risks of everyday life
• Parents are also concerned that their rushed lives means that quality time with their kids is lost
• Parents would not swap their own childhood for one today

It’s not all bad news. IWA director John Osmond noted that, “despite many concerns that were voiced, especially around children’s freedom to play unsupervised, it was striking how optimistic many of the parents we interviewed were about their children’s development.

“They thought that children today had more opportunities to develop themselves and, with their greater confidence, should be able to take advantage of these opportunities in later life.”

More information about the report and the programmes coming up in March are available at the BBC Wales childhood web site. If you live somewhere else in the UK, you can probably catch up with a lot of the programmes on the BBC iPlayer service.

Child safety dependent on carers’ ability to hear

The Better Hearing Institute has implored parents to ensure that more elderly relatives who look after their children can hear well to ensure that their children remain safe.

“If your child’s babysitter is one of the 24 million people who need hearing aids and don’t have them, there could be serious problems,” warned Dr Sergei Kochkin, Executive Director of the BHI. “The risks of not hearing a smoke or carbon monoxide detector could be fatal, as they have been for some. Not hearing weather warnings could expose them, and your children, to a flood, tornado, or hurricane. Spending too much time speech reading while driving can cause a crash, as can failing to hear a siren.”

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Computer games can help adults bond with their kids, casual gaming survey reveals

According to a recent worldwide casual gaming survey, 70% of family members have seen educational benefits of their children and grandchildren playing computer games, while a whopping 92% say that casual games provide an opportunity for them to bond with them.

PopCap Games commissioned the survey and found some other interesting statistics that suggest not all video games are bad, either educationally or in terms of isolating kids.

Casual games provided the following observed benefits: improved hand-eye coordination and mental dexterity (68%), improved learning, such as pattern recognition and spelling (60%), mental workouts/cognitive exercises (51%), strengthened memory (48%), stress relief and relaxation (44%), and confidence building/affirmation (37%).

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5 ways to celebrate National Grandparents’ Day

September 9th is “National Grandparents’ Day”, and members of the Los Angeles Jewish Home, the largest group of 90-year-olds in the US, have come up with their top five tips on how people of all ages, with or without grandparents, can mark the day.

1. Visit: If you don’t have one, visit residents of a nearby home and perhaps share a meal or conversation. Sixty percent of nursing home residents never have a visitor. The enriching benefit for young and old of such interaction is incalculable.

2. Write a note: If you can’t visit, send an old-fashioned note or card. Though computer use is on the upswing with seniors, remember that “good writing is clear thinking made visible;” and everyone likes to receive something personal – like a poem or artwork – in the mail.

3. Call: And if you forget to send a note in time, give a call. In a world of text messaging, taking the time to call goes a long way.

4. Ask questions: Grandparents are usually the ultimate repository of family history. Knowing it is being passed down to future generations is often a comfort to everyone in the family.

5. Adopt: People of all ages are willing to make new friends. Many seniors are not fortunate to have a family nearby. There are thousands of seniors who would love to be a foster grandparent.

More British grandparents caring for grandchildren than ever before, research suggests

New research from Metanium suggests that British grandparents are more involved than ever with the care of their grandchildren.

Some five million grandparents now spend three days per week caring for their grandchildren.

Childcare is major source of concern for working parents. Cost is a key factor, but trust is even more important – and an increasing number of mums and dads are solving the problem by keeping it in the family and turning to their own parents for help

Statistics show that the percentage of children receiving care from their grandparents is on its way to being tripled from 33% in the 1930s to 82% today.

Unlike the grandparents of the 1930s, todayÂ’s grandparents have sophisticated toys, gadgets and electronic devices to help in their childcare role. In spite of that, good old fashioned cuddles, walks and snuggling up with a book are still favourite activities.

Children with alcohol-abusing parents need as much care as those of drug-abusers

A new report from the Aberlour Child Care Trust and the Scottish Association of Alcohol and Drug Action Teams has recommended that the children of parents who abuse alcohol need the same services as those offered to children of drug abusers.

The authors of the report, “A Matter of Substance? Alcohol or Drugs: Does it make a difference to the child?”, said about 100,000 Scottish children were affected by parental alcohol abuse, and that number is sure to be reflected across the UK

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