By Guest Author
Sep 22, 2011
Father daughter relationships: Strengthening the bond
My idea of a well spent Father’s Day would be watching a movie “Father of the bride” with my father on his old TV. I was lucky as I did it last year. More than once we would look at each other with that knowing look in our eyes — we both loved this movie — it’s been ages since we saw it for the first time, but we still love watching it together, more than the movie we love what it reminds us of — our own memories get intertwined with the movie’s theme — the sweet and heartwarming story of the beautiful father-daughter relationship.
Gone are the days when the father-son and mother-daughter relationships used to be the order of the day. Today’s fathers are very much involved emotionally in bringing up their daughters. Looking at this relationship from both points of view, it’s not very difficult to analyse the grounds for it. For a girl, this is very special as with this relationship she frames her first idea of a man. A beautiful father-daughter bond paves the way for successful male relationships in her life in future. Similarly, for a father the love of a daughter is special because girls are more caring and emotional and are more expressive of their love. More often it’s the daughter who makes that extra effort to reach out to old parents. They are more attached to the parents on emotional levels.
The childhood days are often beautiful. The little girl looks up to her father and it’s so easy to picture daddy’s little princess. As time passes by and the little girl grows up, starts living in her own world. We live in a rapidly changing world. Strengthening a beautiful bond is easy if the initial trust is already there. However if we have to talk about some ways of improving this bond, the points below could go a long way.
Like every other relationship, communication should be the most important factor in this relationship. In difficult times just being there for your daughter goes a long way. The same works the other way round, though the level of expectation of parents tends to be less compared to the expectation of children.
Accepting the real father/daughter. We all have a perfect father/daughter image in our minds. Quite often, the real image does not fit with the ideal and causes frustration. The faults and shortcomings could be treated as a good affirmation. Perfection is rare and it’s fine to be imperfect. The most important thing is being comfortable in your own space and accepting faults in your daughter/father. Develop understanding in your relationship.
Let it go slowly at the right time. In every father’s life a time will come when he needs to let the girl go out and make her own decisions. It’s hard to let go — she still is your little girl, but at such times it’s best to hold on to the memories and accept the fact gracefully. The growing up phase is quite complicated and you should understand that the girl needs some space. Give her that space without any hesitation. Don’t forget no-one can take your place in your daughter’s life.
Last but not the least, keeping the memories alive. This could be done by celebrating small things together e.g. important days that matter to both. Often we fall back on the good old days to be able to look ahead and face tomorrow. An occasional phone call, little surprises, looking at the old family album together — all these could make both the father and daughter connect on a deeper level and make this beautiful bond even more fulfilling.