Business leaders shun fathers’ rights to longer paternity leave

In statements which only seek to reinforce the ridiculous lack of work-life balance prevalent in British society, and that continues to erode the rights of fathers, top business leaders have described new paternity leave proposals as “madness”.

Citing yawn-inducing reasons such as “Britain is only just crawling out of recession”, bigwigs such as David Frost, director general of the British Chambers of Commerce venomously laid into the government proposals.

These leaders are completely fixated on profit and business growth, making no mention of the rights of fathers or the importance of families growing strongly.

Perhaps Mr Frost doesn’t have a family, or was an absent father?

Granted, giving new fathers extra paternity leave doesn’t in itself make for stronger families, and it isn’t a complete answer to allowing a family unit to bond with its new member, but it certainly shouldn’t be sniffed at.

As far as I’m concerned, it’s another snub to the role of the father.

Is it any wonder that we are an increasingly fatherless society? I think not. Yet the role of a good father is vital to the successful upbringing of children.

I’m not suggesting that other family units can’t or don’t work, but when a family unit has stayed together, for heaven’s sake allow it to grow.

It’s clear from a recent survey that many fathers are pressurised into not taking even the pittance of leave they’re entitled to now.

Yes, more regulation could add to the burden on companies, but we need to balance the needs of society with the need to grow strong businesses.

Calls to end maternity and paternity division, as Labour propose sharing

Mother to Father

The UK government has announced proposals to allow mothers to transfer the second half of their annual maternity leave entitlement to the father, should they so which.

It would mean that the dad could take six months off work, being paid the £123.06 per week entitlement for three of those months.

Labour pledge

Labour’s Minister for Women and Equality, Harriet Harman, suggested that it gave families “radically more choice and flexibility in how they balance work and care of children, and enables fathers to play a bigger part in bringing up their children”, but the Conservatives said that it lagged behind their own proposals.

The Tories have said that they would double the amount of paid paternity leave and let parents take leave simultaneously.

Scrap Maternity and Paternity leave

While Working Families has already called for greater awareness of paternity leave, the Families Need Fathers campaign group has called for an ultimate end to paternity and maternity leave discrimination.

“This should be replaced with an allocation of parental leave to be divided between parents as they see fit, allowing them to choose how they work and parent,” they said.

What do you think of these proposals?

Paternity leave campaign launched by British charity

Fathers denied paternity leave

A recent online survey found that many fathers-to-be aren’t taking full advantage of paternity leave, with 40% of men not taking it at all.

Three out of four of those men said that they couldn’t afford to take the leave, while 14% said they didn’t have enough length of service with their employer, and 13% were self-employed and so weren’t entitled to official leave.

It also found that, because the statutory payout was so low, many men chose to take a portion of their holiday entitlement instead.

Employers to blame?

Others spoke of possible bullying tactics by employers.

“My husband’s company made it difficult for him to take the time off – he’s a manager and even though he was entitled to it, it’s a case of if he did take two weeks off, someone else would have basically replaced him,” said one respondent.

Working Families Chief Executive, Sarah Jackson, said that many companies weren’t aware of the rules and were denying paternity leave even to those who were entitled to it.

“Take Up Top Up” Campaign

“We’re launching the campaign to raise awareness about fathers’ rights. But we also need adequate levels of pay if fathers are to be encouraged to take leave. That’s where employers can come in,” she said.

“Many good employers offer contractual pay on top of statutory maternity pay. We want many more employers to “top up” statutory paternity pay to full pay for the two weeks. Time with a new baby is a great gift to a new family and employers will reap the benefit of motivated employees.”

With the UK slowly struggling out of recession, now is not the time many employers want to hear about offering additional pay for fathers, but when so many companies pay at least lip-service to “work life balance”, offering new fathers an opportunity to build a bond with their newborn child is one of the greatest things a company can do.

Paternity rights: the facts

• Statutory Paternity Pay is currently £123.06 a week.
• Notice period – an employee should inform his employer of his intention to take paternity leave by the 15th week before the baby is due.
• Eligibility – an employee must have worked continuously for an employer for 26 weeks by the end of the 15th week before the baby is due to be eligible for statutory paternity leave and must also meet an earnings requirement to be eligible for statutory paternity pay.
• Advice on paternity rights is available via www.workingfamilies.org.uk or by calling the Working Families helpline on 0800 013 0313.

Are you a dad who has taken, or been denied, paternity leave? Share your experience in the comments below.

Mancunian men spend most time on phone to mum

With Mothers’ Day fast approaching, a mobile phone comparison web site decided to carry out some research to see how often men ‘phoned their mums.

The results: Six out of every ten hours spent on the telephone by men from Manchester were to their mothers.

The top ten cities are:

1. Manchester, 58% of all time spent on phone is calls to mum
2. Leeds, 54%
3. Newcastle Upon Tyne, 52%
4. Portsmouth, 51%
5. Birmingham, 46%
6. Liverpool, 46%
7. Swindon, 42%
8. Grimsby, 41%
9. Aberdeen, 39%
10. Bradford, 38%

While the bottom five are:

1. Glasgow, 4%
2. Luton, 5%
3. Coventry, 5%
4. Oxford, 6%
5. Cardiff, 7%

Of course the results aren’t conclusive. Maybe men in the lower-ranked cities spend a lot more time on their phones overall, thus reducing the proportion of time spent talking to any one person (including their mum).

Perhaps some men spend more time in face-to-face communication with their family.

It’s also worth bearing in mind that this is a subjective result, with the men who took part in the study being asked to calculate the average time spent on the phone to their mum as a proportion of the entire time spent using their phone over a one month period.

Managing Director of rightmobilephone.co.uk, Neil McHugh said, “As someone based in the South I was amazed at the results but maybe it could be because us southerners spend more time face to face with our mums than on the phone to them.”

Photo by DavidDennisPhotos.com

Inflexibility causing employers to miss out on parent talent

Parents are a talented bunch, with multitasking, time management, promotion, marketing and better communication just some of the skills learnt informally while raising a family or running their own business.

Yet employers could be missing out on this workforce because of inflexible working practices and the cost of childcare.

Director of Family Friendly Working, Antonia Chitty, said, “I know that I’ve developed my skills since I left employment and it looks like I’m not alone. Britain’s bosses need to think hard about offering more flexible work opportunities in order to make the most of talented parents.”

Have you gained skills as a direct result of being a parent? Have you been able to use them in the workplace or are you pursuing your own projects because full-time employment isn’t flexible enough for your needs?

Six tips for beating Christmas family arguments (involves conversation)

With one piece of research suggesting that even the best families will argue for seven hours over the Christmas week, or a horrendous three hours per day in the worst case, here are some tips for avoiding fallout this festive period.

Lisa Warner, inventor of FINK family conversation cards, offers these six top tips:

1. Start interesting and engaging conversation: if families simply stare at the TV all day they’re bound to get bored and irritable. Try FINK family conversation cards to get the conversation started.

2. Play family games: group activities are a great way to bond with each other and family games can bring all the generations together.

3. Don’t over stretch yourself: if the thought of cooking for 12 people worries you keep it simple and avoid the stress. Everyone will feel the pressure if you are stressed, so keep it simple and enjoy yourself.

4. Get some sleep: don’t miss out on the fun but remember we all get irritable when we don’t get enough sleep.

5. Take time out: a short break from everyone will give you a little breather and chance to recoup.

6. Ban texting at the table: if your children are texting their friends at the table then they’re not engaging with everyone else.

Rod Stewart recently made a stand with his family by completely banning mobile phones at the dinner table to preserve the art of conversation.

Lisa continued: “It may seem like a simple action but banning kids from texting at the table means they concentrate more and actually engage in the conversation. You have to be vigilant though, some kids are experts at texting without even looking at the phone!”

FinkCards.com

Should “Grandparents Law” be introduced in Britain?

Many people believe in the important role that grandparents play in the upbringing of children, despite the fact that Western society has changed significantly over the past few decades, and that the idea of a connected family is quite different to that in many Eastern countries.

That being the case, there are still cases where grandparents are unable to see their grandchildren due to familial breakdown and a lack of communication, and it seems to be for this reason that the Conservatives have suggested that grandparents will be given greater recognition under a Tory government.

In cases where parents split and divorce, new laws could ensure that grandparents are still granted access to their grandchildren, or even be given priority in custody cases, depending on the circumstances.

David Shields, from the Grandparents’ Association, said that the current law means grandparents have no voice or say at all. “They have no more rights than a stranger. They don’t even have a right to stay in touch with their grandchildren,” he told the Daily Mail.

We hear stories of grandparents who, after sharing many happy times with their grandkids, and helping out their children and inlays, are told they can no longer see them because of acrimonious divorce and custody battles.

It seems a great shame that the only way for generations of a family to see one another is through the legal system, but perhaps that’s better than nothing.

In the ideal world, even in split families, children would naturally be able to see their grandparents on both the maternal and paternal side without the need for people to fight over them.

Children so often get used as pawns in messy separations, and grandparents could even provide some much needed stability in times of turmoil.

No separation is totally without mess. Perhaps a change in the law would help all those involved in particularly messy scenarios, while more amicable (or, at least, accommodating) families can sort things out for themselves.

What do you think? Does Britain need a change in the law to boost grandparents’ rights?

Fussy eating kids drive their parents mad, survey finds

While it may not be as serious as those we’ve watched on Freaky Eaters, fussy eating kids are driving parents mad.

A survey of over 3,000 parents by Green Giant found that one in three children have been described as fussy eaters by their parents.

Added to this, two out of three parents say that their kids are fussier than they themselves were when growing up.

One in twenty children hide food they don’t want to eat (one mother reported that her six-year-old son is regularly caught flushing peas down the toilet), while others sneak food onto other plates or feed it to the dog.

Of course, sulking, tantrums and claiming to be full also make an appearance ion the list of tactics used by children trying to avoid eating unappetising food.

To appease the kids, one in five parents say they have to cook different meals for each family member, while a similar number buy special “reward” puddings.

General Mills nutritionist Vanessa McConkey RNutri says: “These findings reinforce the importance of getting back to the table – sitting down together as a family to enjoy mealtimes, without the many distractions revealed by this survey. Kids can be very fussy and encouraging them to eat a proper, nutritious meal can be difficult for parents.

“Instilling healthy eating habits early on in life will help ensure children eat a healthy, balanced meal, rich in vegetables and fruit and get more of the nutrients they need. It will also increase the likelihood of these healthy habits being carried on throughout life. Choosing vegetables like canned sweet corn can make it much easier to ensure children get one of their recommended five a day.”

Healthy eating is a real marketing buzzword at present, as you’ll see if you watch a few food adverts on TV, but it can be a difficult balancing act to find food that kids will eat and that’s reasonably good for them.

Do you consider your kids to be fussy eaters? How have you tried to resolve the issue, or have you found yourself giving in to their pressure?

Share your thoughts, tips and tricks in the comments below.

Economy driving mums to buy second-hand for their babies. Is that so bad?

The state of the economy and the need to watch the pennies means that more new and expectant mums than ever before are buying baby goods second-hand.

A survey found that nine out of ten mums had bought three or more second hand items to save money, with 300% more parents buying seconds this year compared to last year.

Prams, pushchairs and cots topped the list. A quarter of mums said everything they’d bought was second hand.

One couple surveyed had saved up £1,500 which they estimated would just about cover the cost of pushchair, cot, car seat, clothing, a month’s worth of nappies and feeding equipment. By buying second hand, the couple managed to reduce this amount to only £575.

Is there still a stigma attached to buying baby essentials second hand? Presumably it’s not putting anyone off actually doing it.

Given the relatively short lifespan many products have, even though they get a lot of use during that time, it makes sense to hand or sell on goods to others who can make use of them. So long as they’re still in good working order and are clean, safe and hygienic, it’s a good thing.

It’s great to buy new things, or have them bought for you, but parents with extended family and friend networks may also find generosity offers them free hand-me-downs.

Reusing equipment is also a lot greener, too.

Photo by Comsic Kitty

Eating breakfast together strengthens the family and helps child development

Eating breakfast together as a family? You’ve got to be kidding, right?

Some mornings, it’s enough worry to even get the children and adults out of the house with the right kit in time for school and work.

Yet new research confirms that families who find time to eat breakfast together are not only strengthened as a unit, but their kids could well do better in school and be more emotionally stable and socially developed.

We’ve already reported on how important it is for families to eat together but this usually focuses on the evening meal.

How can you make breakfast a shared, and stress-free, experience?

Nutella, who sponsored the survey, offers child psychologist Laverne Antrobus’ five tips for a great family breakfast:

1. It’s all in the preparation: Get the children involved, help them to lay the table or, if old enough, make the toast and pour out drinks
2. Variety is key: Allowing more choice, and giving children foods they like, will minimise disagreements and maintain focus on spending quality time together. Also try to give them something that sets them up for the morning ahead so a low sugar cereal on one day and then on another wholegrain toast with a hazelnut based spread like nutella.
3. Give yourself a goal: Set targets that are realistic and can be achieved; think about how many times a week eating together is possible given everyone’s schedule
4. Don’t get distracted: Even if you can’t sit down all together every time avoid the daily distractions and noise of the TV & radio, it will allow you to focus on the conversation you are having
5. Eyes and ears: Listen to what they are saying, ask open-ended questions and give them the opportunity to use this time to find out what’s on their mind.

More advice? Visit the Wake Up To Nutella web site.

Do you have any tips for a great family breakfast? Leave a comment below.

Most British families eating at home, survey finds

Feeding a growing family can be expensive enough without dining out on a regular basis, so it’s perhaps little surprise that a new survey has found that nearly three-quarters of British families are choosing to eat home-cooked meals rather than in restaurants.

Almost three-quarters (73%) of those families asked said that they would opt for home-cooked food over takeaways.

Respondents were also less likely to spend time in the pub, with 40% of family respondents saying that they would spend more time drinking at home, while 11% were more likely to venture out to the pub in the next 12 months than they had done previously.

Families with children were shown to be more cost-conscious across these activities than single people and couples. 57% of couples and 54% of singles agreed that they would be more likely to eat at home rather than dining out.

Roughly the same percentages – 57% of couples and 55% of singles – said they would opt for home-cooked food over a takeaway. Only 31% of couples and 22% of singles said they were more likely to drink alcohol at home rather than going out, while 13% of couples and 24% of single people said they were now more likely to head out to the pub.

Other statistics included:

• 75% of families intend to spend less of their household expenditure on going out to the pub or restaurants, compared to 58% of both couples and single people
• 73% of families said they would spend less on going out to the cinema or theatre, compared to 56% of couples and 57% of singles
• 69% of families intend to cut back on sporting events, compared to 56% of couples and 51% of singles
• 63% of families will cut back on their holidays and travel, compared to 45% of couples and 46% of singles
• 56% of families intend to spend less on in-home entertainment, compared to 47% of couples and 43% of singles

So that’s the figures, but what do you think? Have you altered your food spending patterns in the current economic climate?

In wireless world family still a priority, survey finds

Families most want to talk to each other, a recent survey by a US telecoms company has found.

Verizon Wireless discovered that over three-quarters of its customers would include the phone number of a loved one on its Friends & Family scheme.

Of those, 44% would add their spouse or significant other, with 51% of men wanting to do so compared to 37% of women.

Of course the survey is a way of highlighting the service, of which similar plans exist in the UK, but it’s encouraging that users don’t feel the need to add their boss or a co-worker over their nearest and dearest.

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