Feb 9, 2011
B is for Bathroom [The A-Z of Step-Parenting]
On returning from my weekly game of football I usually like to lie in the bath for a prolonged period of time listening to the radio or indeed just allowing my now ageing legs to recover.
In a family household you need to be aware that ‘peaceful’ and ‘bathroom’ are two words which will never be found in bed together. The bathroom and everything in it is up for grabs at any time whether it’s occupied or not.
It wouldn’t be accurate to say that I’m in touch with my feminine side when I take a bath; there are no candles or whale song in the background but I do like a deep bath with a few bubbles to balance on my head in an attempt to pretend I still have some hair left.
It never occurs to either of my stepsons that what I wouldn’t like them to do is visit the toilet the second before I’m about to run my bath and leave a smell similar to that of a pig pen. So why choose this time? They know the water has been on a while. They are aware that every week I play football at the same time. They know I will be home by half past nine. They know their lack of timing infuriates the living daylights out of me.
The answer is none of the above but merely that common sense, or common living conditions, are thrown completely out the window with step children. They are not interested in whether you want a bath or not, but more how you taking a bath will enhance their TV schedule or Xbox time.
A prime example of common sense not being common enough in relation to the bathroom is the morning routine. Previously my routine was: get up, shower, cup of tea with breakfast and then drive to work. All of which would take me no longer than forty minutes.
Now the routine is to wake earlier than usual to make sure I’m in the shower before others. Answer the door, whilst in the shower, to allow someone in. Usually they are performing the toilet dance. Bang on the door to try to get back into the shower. Brush my teeth through the noxious smell that has been left hanging. Spend ten minutes looking for my socks which have been ‘borrowed’. Finally trundle down stairs for breakfast where I now have to make four cups of tea and while I’m at it I might as well make scrambled eggs for all.
I’m lucky enough that my step sons are a little older and therefore don’t want to be in the bathroom at the same time as myself. However, considering they’re both boys it does bring into play the question of shaving implementation. Who has borrowed my razor? Where is the shaving cream? Who used the last razor blade?
All of that without even mentioning my wife’s beauty regime with the creams, sponges, baby wipes and cotton wool. Maybe it was her that used the final razor blade!