Telling the truth to your adopted child

Parents who adopted a child must determine what and when they will tell their child about their adoption. Many adoption workers advise parents to introduce the word “adoption” as early as possible so that it becomes a comfortable part of a child’s vocabulary and to tell a child, between the ages of 6 and 8 that he is adopted. In addition, there is some question about whether a child under 6 years of age can understand the meaning of adoption and be able to work through the losses implied by learning that he was born into a different family.

Although it is obvious to adults, young children often believe that they are either adopted or born. It is important, when telling them about their adoption, to help them understand that they were born first and that all children, adopted or not, are conceived and born in the same way. The birth came first, then next the adoption.

Waiting until adolescence to reveal a child’s adoption to him or her is not recommended.

Children who were adopted when they were older than 2, or who are of a different race from their adoptive parents, need to be told about their adoption earlier. With older children, who bring with them memories of a past, failure to acknowledge those memories and to have a chance to talk about them can reinforce the attachment problems inherent in shifts in caretakers early in life.

If your adopted child is of a different race or has very different physical features from your family, you must be observant of the signs that he or she is aware of the difference. Your child may have noticed it, or someone else may have commented on it. You will want to explain to your child that the birth process is the same for everyone but accept that people in other cultures have distinguishing physical features and their own rich heritage. Sometimes children who look different from the rest of their family need to be assured that their parents love them and intend to keep them.

Pornography and teens today

The access to pornography for teens is certainly worthy of concern nowadays.

During previous years, finding a pornographic magazine or video under your teenage son’s bed was fairly common. Boys are naturally curious when it comes to sex and used to get their information from magazines or videos.

Today, the Internet has made accessing pornography as simple as the click of a mouse. If you are not monitoring the sites that your teenager visits, there might be chances that he or she has seen pornography, that includes pictures that shows deviant behavior.

Even if your teen isn’t regularly searching for those kind of sites, spam emails can give them access links to those sites also. These emails are sent out randomly to tease readers.

Below are information about some applications or media that could trigger your alarm as a responsible parent in observing your teen’s activity:

Music
Lyrics of much of the music listened to by teenagers today could also contain pornographic words, not only for the girls, but also for the boys whose focus becomes what they can get and rarely on what they can give. This can affect future relationships and sure to suffer because of the perversions that our teens are being raised on.

Chat
Chat room is another problem. Anyone can login as an individual who just wants a friend to “chat” with. There isn’t any way to regulate or restrict a pervert from pretending to be that “friend”. If trust has been established, your teenager is open for being exposed to pornography, or it could be worse.

What to do
If you notice that your son is starting to show aggressive behavior, being antisocial, there could be chances that he or she is already being influenced by pornography.

Do whatever you can to limit his or her access to those pornographic items. While looking a pornographic magazine or video may have been considered acceptable behavior at one time, looking at the adult content on the Internet should not be permitted. Webcams are also an invitation to trouble, particularly if your son or daughter spends time in chat rooms. Pedophiles often will ask for pictures as a “remembrance”, and as your son/daughter starts to get comfortable in front of the camera, problems can really arise. There are countless web sites out there that displays amateur videos of boys/girls undressing or doing tease.

Don’t ever assume that your kids are protected. Today, level of peer pressure is different than that of years ago. Pornography surely leads to promiscuous and perverse behavior.

Witch/Pagan Parenting

There are no standard for parenting Pagans/Witch children. Other religions have doctrines of how adherents should parents usually carved into stone. Witchcraft and Paganism does not require to follow to any set of rules personally as parents.

So what does being a good Pagan/Witch parent mean? Are we adrift in the sea of parenting, alone floating aimlessly? Or do we have a course charted and have set sail with our young crew, only to find we have set sail with others?

We share this wondrous ride in the unknown waters of parenthood, each sailing their own course but corresponding or attuning with others. Parenting of itself is a journey wrought with questions and insecurity, Pagan/Witch parenting even more so, as we do not have a church on every corner, where we meet with others and take parenting courses. There can be a sense of isolation in Pagan/Witch parenting, even when we have the boon of having those we share magical lives with, needless to state those who are solitary or in more isolated areas.

How do we raise these Magical gifts the Goddess has enriched our lives with? Pagan parenting is something that is not a widely discussed, or up to this time, not accepted topic in this world. We need to share skills and beliefs with others that has a wide understanding of the reality and the magic that lies
beneath it, the magic of celebrating life. Everyday we can offer a Pagan/Witch parenting community and others who have children they love and want to instrumental in their nurturing, a set of ideas to ponder. As we all need to forge our own paths in life, parenting included, it can be helpful to reflect on what others say, and take what we can use and leave the rest behind.

As The Goddess and God set us forth on our own course to sail, we too, as adults that love children, prepare them to set forth as well. Assisting them in plotting their own course as we continue to plot and sail our own.

managing divorce anger

Anger is not a gift. And it is normal for a realtionship to have this kind of twist.
But for couples who are going for divorce, this emotion is often anything but healthy.
It is a special kind of anger that usually hasn’t been experienced before.
When anger and divorce is combined, it’s often treated as a misguided means of hanging on to
a failed marriage. For many people that really longs for a company, a bad relationship is better than no relationship at all.

Divorce anger lets people to punish their ex as often as possible, while keeping an ongoing “bitter” relationship.
It’s a situation that leaves both partners in the long and winding divorce world of growth obstruction and self-awareness.
Some people really keep their anger so secretly that their rage takes over their whole lives, affecting all their thoughts and actions.
They weigh every action to see how much harm it will bring on their ex.

Divorce anger is often expressed through the legal process itself.
During this process, it is important to remember that your lawyer is your adviser, not your friend.
Releasing anger to your ex through the legal process invariably leads to prolonged, emotional proceedings that will
ultimately leave you, and of course, the family resources out.
Using the legal process as a way to express your anger is a bad idea for a couple of key reasons; it is the wrong way, and it is very expensive.

The legal divorce process itself tends to add fuel to both parties’ anger.
Often times it leads to dividing property and trying to prove your case for custody or support.

So how can you cope with this new and intense anger? The key lies in understanding its roots, where did you first fall
and finding possitive ways to express the hurt, disappointment, and loss that both party is feeling now as you proceed through separation.

Anger can really be a very healthy and positive tool for change, and it has a lot of energy compared to happiness when released
but if we use it destructively, all we do is destory our mood and keep misseries coming.

Final word is, people have to learn to have anger work for them possitively, not negatively.