Are you sailing through life in a relation (ship) or a relation (canoe) ?

When it came to commitment, I could not leave it out because it is the most important thing in a relationship or marriage. So, I had to make room for it.

What is commitment? So many people are looking and searching for their soul mate. You see it everywhere, people writing about it in magazines, in newspapers, on the web, and in the movies. You have seen over and over again where the man meets a women, sweeps her off her feet, they fall in love, and live happily ever after. Right? But, the movie is only 1-2 hours long. It doesn’t show the rest of their life, even if is fake or pretend, you don’t see what happens next. You don’t see all the ups and downs, the storms, the winters, the springs, and the summers of the relationship. This is where commitment comes in.

Think of a relation-ship as a ship, a ship you’re going to sail through in this life. If you were going to sail in this ship, this relation-ship, with only one person for the next 60-70+ years or the rest of your life, how carefully would you choose your shipmate? Would you take the first person that said “let’s go”? Would you take someone that might jump off the ship? Then you would have to sail the ship yourself, stop at every port, and try to find a new shipmate. Wouldn’t you want to make sure the person you decided to sail with is as committed to be on the ship as you are? Or maybe it’s you that needs to be committed to staying on the ship and not jumping off. That would not be a relation-ship. You would be sailing in a relation-canoe, as my good friend Guru Singh says. How well do you think a canoe will do in a storm? Not very well, I’m afraid. Just like the relationship; it will sink.

You must both be committed to the relationship. That means no threatening to jump off the ship when it starts to shake and take on water. No saying things like “if you do this again or say that again then I will jump off this ship!” That is not a commitment. You must both be committed, and it will take work, but it is worth it.

The best example of this is in a movie called “The Story of Us” with Bruce Willis and Michelle Pfeiffer. If you haven’t seen this movie, go rent it now. In this movie Bruce Willis and Michelle Pfeiffer date, then get married, have kids, love each other, hate each other, and just about every emotion you could have. They go through every season. But the best part of the movie is where they decide not to continue to be together in their marriage or relation-ship. Then, they realise what is important and that life will have its ups and downs, its storms, and that it is important to be there for each other through the good, the bad and the real bad. They get what it is to be committed. Are you getting the point?

When my wife and I were going through on of our biggest storms, to date, Guru Singh told us something that changed our lives forever. He said, “Think of a house as being the relationship and the trees, flowers, butterflies, beautiful blue sky, and the birds chirping; are all love.” He then asked us, “What holds a house together?” He then said, “NAILS!” Nails are the commitment. So, when you attract a person of your dreams into your life, don’t jump ship during the first storm, and make the decision to sail through life with them; be committed to them and share that commitment with them forever.

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