Are you sailing through life in a relation (ship) or a relation (canoe) ?

When it came to commitment, I could not leave it out because it is the most important thing in a relationship or marriage. So, I had to make room for it.

What is commitment? So many people are looking and searching for their soul mate. You see it everywhere, people writing about it in magazines, in newspapers, on the web, and in the movies. You have seen over and over again where the man meets a women, sweeps her off her feet, they fall in love, and live happily ever after. Right? But, the movie is only 1-2 hours long. It doesn’t show the rest of their life, even if is fake or pretend, you don’t see what happens next. You don’t see all the ups and downs, the storms, the winters, the springs, and the summers of the relationship. This is where commitment comes in.

Think of a relation-ship as a ship, a ship you’re going to sail through in this life. If you were going to sail in this ship, this relation-ship, with only one person for the next 60-70+ years or the rest of your life, how carefully would you choose your shipmate? Would you take the first person that said “let’s go”? Would you take someone that might jump off the ship? Then you would have to sail the ship yourself, stop at every port, and try to find a new shipmate. Wouldn’t you want to make sure the person you decided to sail with is as committed to be on the ship as you are? Or maybe it’s you that needs to be committed to staying on the ship and not jumping off. That would not be a relation-ship. You would be sailing in a relation-canoe, as my good friend Guru Singh says. How well do you think a canoe will do in a storm? Not very well, I’m afraid. Just like the relationship; it will sink.

You must both be committed to the relationship. That means no threatening to jump off the ship when it starts to shake and take on water. No saying things like “if you do this again or say that again then I will jump off this ship!” That is not a commitment. You must both be committed, and it will take work, but it is worth it.

The best example of this is in a movie called “The Story of Us” with Bruce Willis and Michelle Pfeiffer. If you haven’t seen this movie, go rent it now. In this movie Bruce Willis and Michelle Pfeiffer date, then get married, have kids, love each other, hate each other, and just about every emotion you could have. They go through every season. But the best part of the movie is where they decide not to continue to be together in their marriage or relation-ship. Then, they realise what is important and that life will have its ups and downs, its storms, and that it is important to be there for each other through the good, the bad and the real bad. They get what it is to be committed. Are you getting the point?

When my wife and I were going through on of our biggest storms, to date, Guru Singh told us something that changed our lives forever. He said, “Think of a house as being the relationship and the trees, flowers, butterflies, beautiful blue sky, and the birds chirping; are all love.” He then asked us, “What holds a house together?” He then said, “NAILS!” Nails are the commitment. So, when you attract a person of your dreams into your life, don’t jump ship during the first storm, and make the decision to sail through life with them; be committed to them and share that commitment with them forever.

Get 3 Free Secrets from the Book “The Little Book of Secrets, How to Attract the Person of Your Dreams, and Keep Them!”
MakeTheWorldYourStage.com

Four tips for dealing with Christmas after divorce

Holidays are often a happy, but stressful time for most families. Add a divorce into that mix, and things can become infinitely more complicated. The experts at GreatDad.com, a leading source of experience, recommendations, inspiration and advice for dads, have some advice and suggestions to make the adjustment after a divorce as easy as possible for your family.

Communication and planning are critical elements to making the holidays stress-free and more enjoyable. Paul Banas, founder and CEO of GreatDad.com explains, “Dealing with holidays can be an emotional rollercoaster, especially the first few years after the separation. Working together with your ex-wife and planning well in advance will help eliminate some of the last-minute pressure and uncertainty that is sure to come up during the holidays.”

Sage Advice:

• Develop a Parenting Plan: Experts suggest developing a “parenting agreement” with your ex- after the divorce, which should include how and where the kids will spend holidays. With an agreement in place, you can avoid arguing about plans every time the holidays roll around.
• Remain Flexible and Patient: Even with a plan in place, changes will undoubtedly happen–flexibility and patience will go a long way to keeping everything running smoothly. “It’s definitely important to remain flexible during the holidays. Being extra-sensitive and ready for the inevitable schedule changes will help you and your kids have a great holiday together,” added Banas.
• Coordinate Gift Giving: It’s also important that you and your ex-spouse talk about what you are getting your kids as gifts. This way, you don’t end up giving the same things (iPhone, doll, Wii console, etc.), and you also set rules in place on what’s acceptable.
• Create New Traditions: With time and forethought, you and your children can create new traditions together and make the holidays joyous again. This is a wonderful opportunity to get the kids involved and show them how important their input is.

For more tips and advice for celebrating the holidays after a divorce, go to www.greatdad.com/holidays.

“Lazy Teens” image is a myth according to new study

Teenagers get a pretty rough time of it these days, it seems. There are so many negative stories in the news involving teenagers that it’s not surprising that the unhelpful stereotyping persists.

One label that many teenagers are keen to shake off is that of being lazy. A national survey of 3,500 16-19 year-olds found that nearly three-quarters wanted to be involved in positive activities including sports, other active pursuits, and music, as well as participating in youth groups and volunteering in the community.

Part of the problem seems to be a lack of opportunities — perceived or real — with nine out of ten teens saying that they spent a lot of their time hanging around with friends. Four in five said that there wasn’t enough to do where they lived, and they’d like to see more activities made available to them.

Nearly one in ten teens have part-time jobs, with another one in six keen to get them.

The survey was run by Teen Talk on behalf of the Department for Children Schools and Families, which has a ten-year strategy called “Aiming High for Young People” that seeks to increase young people’s participation in positive leisure time activities, and is investing £679m to create those opportunities.

DCSF minister for children, young people and families, Beverley Hughes, said, “It’s extremely important that we listen to what teenagers themselves are saying. The Teen Talk survey did just that, and showed that the vast majority of young people want to use their free time constructively. This puts paid to the all-too-familiar portrayal of them as only being interested in hanging around on the streets or playing computer games.”

DirectGov: activities for young people

Britain’s working mums least likely to take time off work: survey

A recent survey by Sambucol suggests that the UK’s working mums are the least likely to take time off when they’re ill, probably because they have so many things to juggle, and so many other people relying on them.

The poll of 3,000 people found that working mums are the profession least likely to take a day off sick, choosing to soldier on whatever the state of their health. Whether it’s juggling a career with family life or taking responsibility for the housework and childcare, it would seem that Britain’s mums don’t let an attack of the sniffles get in their way.

Dr Serene Foster, expert immunologist and herbalist said, “With so many people relying on them it’s no wonder that so many mums feel they cannot afford to be ill. When you start to feel run down, it’s your body’s way of telling you to take it easy, so not taking a day off when you need to may
mean you’ll feel under the weather for longer.”

With 84% of working mums keeping going when ill, and probably a similar, if not higher, proportion of stay-at-home mums doing the same, it’s surely very important for them to have others around them who can lend a helping hand when they’re feeling ill.

Seven tips to beat the rising food shopping bill

A recent survey carried out by Organised Mum found that three-quarters of mums are spending at least £20 per week more on food, with 25% saying it’s at least £40 per week more.

When asked what measures families are taking to cut down weekly food bills, 59 per cent said they are taking greater care when planning meals and are generally trying to buy less, a further 22 per cent said they were buying the same products but have switched to cheaper own-brand versions and 19 per cent have even ditched their favourite supermarket for a cheaper alternative.

Sarah Sadler at Organised Mum commented, “More now than ever, families need to ensure they are getting value for money from what they spend on food each week, but focusing on what you buy is just as important as not overspending in the first place. Our survey has already revealed that people
are making changes to the way they shop and that they are prepared to look
at different ways of making cut backs if needed. A little bit of good old fashioned organisation and planning can also do wonders for your bank balance”.”

Here are Sarah’s seven tips for saving money on food:

1. Buy your free range eggs from local farms rather than the supermarket at around 75p for a dozen rather than £1.50 for half a dozen. Eggs are also very versatile and can make a great evening meal for the family.
2. Buy your meat from the supermarket “reduced” cabinets and freeze it for use at a later date.
3. Buy a bread making machine where you can make a loaf of bread for around 52p compared with a premium brand at around £1.20 per loaf. You get to wake up to the smell of freshly baked bread and it won’t have anywhere near as many preservatives in it, which can only be a good thing.
4. Change your lunch habits. Make your sandwiches at home in the morning before you leave for work, or do one single shop at the supermarket on a Monday morning and buy everything you need for your lunch that week. You will still save pounds over buying pre-packed sandwiches every day.
5. Look out for special offers at your supermarket, stock up on good deals – but don’t be tempted to overspend on something that you didn’t need. Stick to your list and only indulge in special offers if you need or will need the item anyway.
6. Take the time to sit down and make a weekly meal plan making sure that you include recipes that will use any food stuffs that are nearing their use-by-date. When making the list ensure that you have considered the week’s activities. For example, one of your children may be out at a sleepover and won’t require dinner that night. You can then use the meal plan to make a shopping list that makes sure you only buy the food you will need for that week’s meals.
7. Finally, the golden rules of shopping: don’t shop when you are hungry. Inevitably, if you food shop whilst hungry you are more likely to be tempted by the mouth watering delicacies on show.

These are by no means exhaustive ideas. What are your money-saving tips? How is your family being affected by the “credit crunch”? Share in the comments below.