Financial problems: make your partner your first contact

Professionals who offer advice to people in financial difficulty state how important it is to maintain active and open communication with those with whom you have a financial relationship with.

This is usually taken to mean creditors, your mortgage lender, your bank, and your landlord, but if you are married or in a committed long-term relationship, the person you should have the closest financial relationship with is your partner.

Regardless of how you have decided to run your financial lives together - be it completely joined, completely separate, or somewhere in between - you still have a commitment to one another in every area of your life.

It’s no surprise that money can cause all sorts of relationship problems if not dealt with openly and honestly, and yet a survey last year showed that many people would not share their credit score with their partner.

That’s just one example.

It’s worrying when it becomes obvious that a couple aren’t communicating with one another.

I can illustrate this with a personal example. I can’t go into details, as not only would it be unethical to do so, but the situation is still to be resolved.

We rent a flat to a young married couple who recently appear to have had some financial difficulties due to employment ending for the husband. Not only have they been very bad at communicating with us, as their landlord, but they appear not to have discussed the situation with each other.

This is apparent because speaking to one of them yields different information than speaking to the other. The husband seems unaware of the phone calls we have had with his wife, and also with the severity of missing rent payments.

Not speaking to us is one thing, but we actually are concerned for the couple themselves. If this is the situation so early on in their marriage, what will it be like in five years’ time?

It’s easy to become blasé when money isn’t a problem, but for many young couples living in expensive parts of the world (such as London and the South East of England) it can be a struggle to make ends meet.

Having money problems isn’t a crime, and it shouldn’t be a cause of embarrassment between two people in a loving, committed relationship.

By refusing to talk to one another, even though both know there are problems, an incredible strain is placed upon the relationship.

Yes, of course a relationship can be strained by money problems regardless of whether they’re talked about or not, but at least by discussing them, working on a plan/budget, and ensuring that both people are communicating in the same way with third parties, there’s greater hope of a solution.

Ignoring the problem, and ignoring each other, never makes the issue go away. Face it together - you’ll be much stronger for it.