Violence on TV: Legislation or parental responsibility?

The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) in the USA has concluded that Hollywood isn’t doing enough to protect children from viewing violent programming on cable and satellite TV, and that Congress should authorise government action.

Unsurprisingly, the TV networks aren’t keen to bend to this kind of pressure.

There’s plenty of talk on both sides about what the right thing to do is.

Read more

Sticks and stones: Verbal abuse of children can lead to PTSD

Psychiatrists at Harvard University have challenged the old playground rhyme.

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.” might have served some purpose at some time in the face of a tirade of name-calling, but actually a constant barrage of verbal attacks—yelling, shouting, swearing, insults, demeaning, ridiculing, and casting unfair blame—can in fact be as traumatic for a child as experiencing or witnessing some types of physical or sexual abuse.

Constant and severe verbal abuse can lead to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

The Harvard news site reports:

Many studies tie physical and sexual abuse to lasting effects on the brain and behavior, but emotional mistreatment has not received the same focus. “Exposure to verbal aggression has received little attention as a specific form of abuse,” notes Martin Teicher, associate professor of psychiatry at McLean Hospital, a Harvard-affiliated psychiatric facility. “This despite the fact that one national study found that 63 percent of American parents reported one or more instances of verbal aggression, such as swearing at and insulting their child.”

Other researchers have associated childhood verbal abuse with a significantly higher risk of developing unstable, angry personalities, narcissistic behavior, obsessive-compulsive disorders, and paranoia. “Verbal abuse may also have more lasting consequences than other forms of abuse, because it’s often more continuous,” says Teicher. “And in combination with physical abuse and neglect [it] may produce the most dire outcome. However, child protective service agencies, doctors, and lawyers are most concerned about the impact and prevention of physical or sexual abuse.”

The article raises some interesting points, and concludes that the occasional harsh or angry word won’t traumatise a child for life, but frequent verbal bashing “could be as bad as sticks and stones that break their bones.”
Study or no study, I know many people who have rightfully dismissed this unhelpful rhyme.

I personally don’t know where it came from, or why it was used—frequently, from memory—in the playground.

Verbal abuse leaves no visible bruises, cuts, or scars, but the emotional trauma it can cause, both at the time, and years afterwards, can be immense.

Children growing up in “terrifying” world. Parents need support.

It sounds obvious, but children need good parents.

Mary Crowley, of Parenting UK, says that children are growing up in a “terrifying” world of pressures and dangers, and that good parenting advice is essential in a society where, generally, the extended family is fractured or in decline.

Her organisation has just won a £30m National Academy for Parenting Practitioners contract.

The BBC reports:

“Nobody sets out to be a bad parent,” said Crowley, “But it’s quite hard to get real advice. You get advice about what sort of buggy to buy.”

Ms Crowley also raised concerns over increasing violence and dangers in society, the need for children to be ’street-wise’, and the marketing pressures put upon them.

She also made a call for more men to come forward to train as parenting practitioners. I couldn’t agree more - men need to be involved so that they can stand alongside other fathers to provide help and support.

Read the full story

Little Helper Fun Pod: food, fun, and safety for toddlers in the kitchen

There are over 42,500 toddlers under the age of 5 who are taken to UK hospitals because of kitchen related accidents every year, and that number doesn’t take into account the thousands of minor accidents that are remedied by a cuddle and a bit of TLC.

The Little Helper Fun Pod™ is an innovative new product that not only keeps toddlers out of harm’s way but also encourages them to get involved in the kitchen.The Fun Pod provides the toddler with a safely constructed platform, enabling them to see what’s happening in the kitchen, being able to interact with their parents, but without any danger of toppling over. Read more

Relationship Links: 12 April 2007

Some interesting articles read today:

• The Procreation Initiative
• Are You Man Enough to… ‘Man’-cation?
• Moving In Together: Does it Lead to a Ring?
• Making the Teen Years your Best Years
• Hip Moms Redefine Parenting
• 11 Must-Ask Questions Before Your Wedding Day
• Who Wears the Pants in Your Relationship?

Family Intervention Project targets ‘problem families’ in Plymouth and Exeter

Two Devonshire cities are taking part in the Family Intervention Project (FIP) scheme which aims to tackle antisocial behaviour and ‘problem families’ by forcing them to mend their ways.

Targeted families could lose their homes if they don’t improve their behaviour.

According to the government, the cost to taxpayers of anti-social families can be between £250,000 and £350,000 a year.

The average cost of counselling each family is expected to be between £8,000 and £15,000 a year.

The government is putting £315,000 into the project in Exeter and £369,000 in Plymouth over two years.

Will it work? Hopefully this is more than simply throwing money at a problem and hoping things will improve. 53 areas across the UK are now involved in the FIP campaign.

Read

British society dramatically changing: 25% of children are in single-parent families

The number of lone mothers bringing up children has tripled since the 1970s, and a quarter of British children now grow up in a single-parent family (predominantly with their mother).

Marriage rates have dropped from 480,000 in 1972 to just 284,000 last year.

Divorce levels are almost at 2 out of every 3 marriages.

Cohabitation (living together outside of the traditional marriage) has risen from 12% to 24%.

Adding strain to both traditional and new expressions of the ‘family unit’ is the fact that, primarily for financial reasons, children are staying longer in the parental home.

When they do move out, typically some time in their 20s, they can afford only smaller properties, usually flats, which can lead to disputes with neighbours due to living in more confined living spaces.

The number of men and women between the ages of 25 and 44 living alone has doubled in the past 20 years.

This can lead to a lack of community and a breakdown of trust.

A BBC article concludes on this issue:

Britain is not alone in seeing family breakdown and social isolation but it is as acute here as almost anywhere and arguments over the causes and the consequences have made this increasingly political territory.

Read

Risk to families from long school days, says UK headteacher

It feels as if the possibility of UK schools staying open from “dawn ’til dusk” has been a possibility for quite some time now, but now a headteacher has spoken out on his belief that it will pose a risk to families.

The government’s policy of opening schools from 0800 to 1800 risked damaging family relationships, head teacher Stuart Merry told the NASUWT.

Mr Merry, from Kirklees, said schools should not encourage parents to be away from their children for long days.

Delegates said extended schools should not mean extended hours for teachers.

Mr Merry said some parents regarded their children as “accessories” to their busy lives and left them with childminders for up to 12 hours a day.

He acknowledged some children, especially from deprived backgrounds needed help, but said that should not be done on the “backs of teachers”.

He said: “They are actually better off being with someone who’s qualified, getting a decent breakfast so they’re ready for school and having some care afterwards.”

“But I know children who are left with childminders at sometimes seven and eight in the morning who don’t see their parents until half past six or seven at night.

“It’s not a real issue for them to make a cohesive family.

Let’s be honest. This is all part of the increased pressure parents find themselves under. The increased cost of living in many parts of the country, plus the rise in single-parent families, means that parents feel pressured to work longer hours.

It’s rather unfair to say that all parents see their children as commodities, though of course this is a sad reality in some cases.

This is an important issue and will change the lives of children, parents, and teachers.

Read

Adoption attachment tips and resources

Adoption Blogs has published a very useful set of tips and resources for anyone adopting a young child and introducing them into a new family setting.

Knowing the warning signs for attachment difficulty and weak attachment is a good thing, but knowing strategies to improve your child’s attachment is just as important.

Tips include maximising physical contact with new family members, limiting the number of other people the child comes into contact with during the early days, discipline guidance, grieving, and regression.

A great resource.

Attachment tips and resources

Caring for family results in fewer career opportunities

A new Canadian study suggests that those who have a greater involvement in their family life, particularly when it involves significant care of a child or relative, are less likely to be offered challenging and progressive career opportunities in the workplace.

McMaster University professor Rick Hackett collaborated on the project and says employees who feel the pull from their family life tend to have fewer resources to devote to their paid jobs.

That results in declining work performance, which makes their bosses less likely to provide them with challenging tasks or opportunities to build their careers.

When this happens, the study suggests, employees have fewer chances to show their capabilities and, as a result, fail to win the confidence of their bosses.

“I think things can be done both from the employer perspective, but also on the home front to help people cope with these home demands,” Hackett said.

That’s all very well, but it does beg the question as to what value society as a whole puts upon family life. Having said that, in today’s world of work, with its pressures and ‘work all hours’ mentality, the balancing act is a hard one to maintain. Wanting to care for one’s family is very admirable, and perhaps it demands a sacrifice in career.

What do you think?

Via Canada.com

The pain of a failed abortion: everyone suffers

Abortion is an emotive and highly charged subject under ‘normal’ circumstances, but the story of Jennifer Raper, from Massachusetts, is a tragedy for all concerned.

Her abortion was not performed correctly, and she gave birth to a daughter in December 2004.

Now she is seeking damages and the cost of raising her 2-year-old daughter.

Read more

Phoenix Children’s Hospital shines spotlight on child abuse

Arizona Central reports on Phoenix Hospital’s month of raising awareness on child abuse:

In the lobby of Phoenix Children’s Hospital, you will find a small collection of used and new shoes, each one telling a story.

White booties in memory of a 2-month-old boy who was shaken by his father, light brown sandals in memory of a “little golden haired girl” who didn’t survive and little white dress shoes that were dropped off by grandparents in memory of their granddaughter whose legs were amputated as an infant.

All of the shoes have one theme in common: child abuse.

As part of Child Abuse Prevention Month, Phoenix Children’s Hospital is asking people to donate a pair of shoes in honor of a victim of child abuse for their Children’s March on Child Abuse event.

Read the full story.