Building Up Your Marriage with Healthy Communication

Would you like to have a stronger, healthier, more enjoyable marriage? I am sure that you would. And yet we live in a culture where about half of all marriages will shatter and end in a divorce, leaving behind the wreckage of broken adults and broken children.

If we are to build healthy marriages, we much do so “on purpose.” We cannot just hope that it will happen by accident. “Hope,” say the generals, “is not a good strategy.” Planning, work, and the investment of time, are much better strategies for any important endeavor of life. The first characteristic of a healthy marriage for us to consider is the way that we talk to our spouse, and the way that we talk about our spouse.

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Marriage Missing its Spark?

If the fires of passion in your marriage have been reduced nearly to embers, then you are not alone. One of the most common problems that can damage a marriage is the loss of spark, or spice, or whatever you like to call it. It’s really not so easy to get yourself or your partner “in the mood” once you have become very familiar with each other. Of course, it’s wonderful to be familiar with your spouse because familiarity is the basis of intimacy. But intimacy is not the same as passion, is it? Routine is the culprit. If the proper countermeasures are not deployed against routine’s assault on your relationship, then it will drain all the passion right out of your marriage. Routine is a tenacious killer of passion - a suspect in the deaths of over 1 million steamy romances. I know routine comes in very handy for showers and oil changes, but it has no place in the bedroom.

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The Reality of Arranged Marriages

Arranged marriages have been a topic of interest for centuries. Authors across the ages have explored this theme at length, and it still surfaces in literary works today. What’s the appeal? Is it the fascination with the lack of lust and desire we cultivate in North American society? We strive on the element of danger, of the forbidden, while an arranged marriage is usually a safe way to ensure a family’s approval of a union.

And yet, many of today’s romance novels deal with marriages of convenience. We’ve all read them: the heroine marries the hero because she needs him, whether for financial reasons, or because her children need a father — there are as many reasons to marry as there are novels dealing with this subject. Yet although the marriage isn’t initially based on love, there’s always that sensual tension simmering beneath the surface, and as readers, we know it’s inevitable that the two are going to fall deeply and irrevocably in love.

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Planning Your Wedding - How To Get Organised

You have purchased the latest bridal magazines from your local grocery store and there are pages and pages of photos of beautiful wedding gowns, rings and articles on weddings. Some give you a brief idea of what you need to do to plan your wedding, but you’re still not sure how to begin the process.

The key is to start organizing and planning earlier than later.

You first need to create a system to keep all the details in one place. You may choose to use a binder with a tab for each category you will be using. Examples of categories are: Bakery, Ceremony, Catering, Florist, Music, Reception, Photography, Transportation. An accordion file is another choice, using the same category tabs. You will be able to see each category at a glance.

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How to Enhance and Enrich Your Marriage

Any marriage counsellor will tell you that one of the most common problems observed when couples come for help is poor communication skills. People get into trouble in their marriages because they have not developed their ability to listen and communicate.

Barriers to Communication

These are a few of the things that prevent people from communicating effectively:

• Not knowing how to communicate properly
• Not taking the time to think through what you want to say
• Not taking the time to anticipate what your partner might be thinking and feeling
• Fear of revealing too much of yourself
• Fear of your partner’s anger
• Not wanting to hurt your partner’s feelings Empathy and Acceptance

People marry because they want to spend the rest of their lives with their partner. They have every hope of growing together and creating a relationship that makes them feel emotionally healthy. Two factors that are necessary for this to happen are empathy and acceptance on the part of both partners. Empathy is the capacity to put oneself in another’s shoes and understand how they view their reality, how they feel about things. Demonstrating empathy and acceptance is critical to maintaining a strong relationship. Let’s look next at some communication skills that enable you to create a climate of empathy, acceptance, and understanding. First we will explore a skill called Active Listening.

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A Summer Wedding

THE sunshine had come out to ensure the wedding of footballer Benji and his wife-to-be Sabine had the perfect backdrop.

For the month before the excitement had been growing amongst the players and supporters of St Cernin de l’Herm, a village in the south west of France, as the day came ever closer.

We had already been out for a meal and made the bride and groom walk around the restaurant whilst eating a banana - with no hands.

A large poster of the team picture had been printed and everyone had signed it and written a good luck message.

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Over half of new mums have gone 24 hours without sleep

A UK survey has shown that over half of new mums have gone for a full 24 hours without sleep. Many have reported a feeling of loneliness as the social life drops away, and some have even started to lose the bond with their baby through lack of sleep.

Around three-quarters (72 per cent) of the women surveyed said tiredness put a strain on their relationship with their partner, causing arguments for half of them.

Sleep deprivation can cause depression and a weak immune system as well as the more immediate problems of irritability and difficulties with concentration and co-ordination.

Almost half (44 per cent) of the 796 mums surveyed for Johnson’s Baby, said they don’t like talking to anyone due to exhaustion, 65 per cent don’t leave the house after asleep less night and nearly one third of mums (31 per cent) suffered loneliness.

More worryingly, for 17 per cent of new mothers, the sleepless nights have had a negative impact on their bond with their baby.

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UK primary school kids to get books that introduce gay relationships

Gay.com UK & Ireland reports that some British primary schools will be launching a selection of books which introduce gay relationships:

The most important thing these books do is reflect reality for young children,’ said Elizabeth Atkinson, director of the No Outsiders project that is being run by Sunderland and Exeter universities and the Institute of Education (IoE) in London.

‘My background is in children’s literature and I know how powerful it is in shaping social values and emotional development. What books do not say is as important as what they do.’

Atkinson argued that the absence of gay relationships in children’s books amounted to ’silencing a social message’. She’s far from alone in believing that this gay whitewash fuels playground ignorance and can lead to bullying and isolation for children who’re gay or perceived to be.

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Stress hormone does funny things to teens

If you’re looking for a reason why teenagers suffer with mood swings, researchers may have found the answer:

Researchers have discovered that a hormone produced by the body in response to stress, which normally calms adults and younger children, instead increases anxiety in adolescents.

They conducted experiments with female mice focusing on the hormone THP that demonstrated this paradoxical effect, and described the brain mechanism that explains it.

If, as the scientists suspect, the same thing happens in people, the phenomenon may help account for the mood swings and anxiety exhibited by many adolescents, they said.

Read (via The Age)

Encouraging individuality in twins

“Double trouble eh?” say well-meaning onlookers, nudging you in the ribs and smiling.

You roll your eyes skyward. After all, it’s only the 20th time you’ve heard such a delightful comment after venturing out with your buggy.

Ask any new mum about the experience of having twins, and the ridiculous and repetitive observations of strangers will be pretty high up on any list of petty complaints.

“You’ve got your hands full,” they coo, or even: “Rather you than me.” Gee thanks.

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