Australian courts seek to be more father friendly

News.com.au reports that the Family Court has been talking to men’s rights groups in an effort to become more “father friendly”. It is also training staff to better understand the male perspective of divorce.

Sue Price of the Men’s Rights Agency, who attended the most recent meeting in Brisbane on Thursday, said: “We were a bit taken aback when we were asked (to attend the forum) because the Family Court has pretty much ignored the way men feel.”

The meeting was attended by representatives of the court, the Child Support Agency, Relationships Australia, Catholic welfare agency Centacare, and men’s groups. “We got out the butcher’s paper and the whiteboards and we really talked about how we could make the system work better for men,” Ms Price said.

“We discussed the fairness of the court decisions, and why the court seemed to regard fathers as the lesser parents. We asked why fathers should be made to feel like criminals. It was extremely productive.”

Whilst I don’t know much of the background of the Men’s Rights Agency, the fact that women are involved in its campaign, and speak in a respectful tone, sets it apart from some of the UK’s offerings.

Perhaps Fathers4Justics should take a leaf from its book.

Activism is well and good when it productive and doesn’t endanger other people or break the law. Compare the Australian position, where the agencies standing up for the rights of fathers are involved in dialogue with many other agencies, to the pathetic antics of UK’s F4J who sabotage public places, and whose upcoming Christmas campaign is to storm Anglican church services dressed as Santa Clause.

No wonder we don’t listen to these disillusioned fathers who have little respect for the system and country they work in, or their children. I wonder what their American and Canadian fathers get up to?

Read the full article: Family Court in ‘father friendly’ push

No gremlins: Family learning tackles adult literacy and numeracy

If the UK Government’s ‘gremlin’ TV campaign aimed at adults who struggle with basic reading, writing and maths skills is not reaching a large enough proportion of the target audience, then perhaps it can be integrated with family learning programmes.

An article in The Guardian showcases Jackie Crowther, family learning coordinator for the Swindon area, who has set up Supporting Our Kids clubs for parents of children at local schools.

…there is no whisper of the skills that the government says it really wants pushed through the family learning programme. There was a clue to these before the session - though none of the newcomers would have picked it up - when one of the three women who were on the programme last year stopped Crowther and with barely contained excitement blurted: “I passed my level 1 literacy.”

“That’s terrific! Well done!” Crowther replies with genuine pleasure.

Family learning was launched three years ago by the Department for Education and Skills. According to the blurb, it “includes learning about roles, relationships and responsibilities in relation to stages of family life; parenting education; and learning how to understand, take responsibility and make decisions in relation to wider society, in which the family is a foundation for citizenship”.

Recently, though, says Crowther, there has been more pressure to harness family learning to the Skills For Life programme, Labour’s strategy for improving adult literacy and numeracy.

The article goes on to show that even though many parents in the target group are less likely to participate in these programmes due to their own poor experiences of school, they are often encouraged by wanting to be able to help their own children.

Powerful though the parental factor is, Crowther says, satisfaction with one’s own success can become an equally important factor in taking adults beyond the first steps of sharpening literacy and numeracy, and into further study.

Read the full article: http://education.guardian.co.uk/further/story/0,5500,1573598,00.html

Death of the family? Plight of the elderly in Britain

The Mirror highlights the tragic case of Ivy Allen who was left to starve to death despite having 10 children and 30 grandchildren.

Instead of being cared for by her family, Ivy - whose funeral took place yesterday in Warrington, Cheshire - spent her final months isolated and neglected in her council house.

Her grandson Anthony Bradbury, 24, told the Daily Mirror yesterday that he’ll never forgive himself for the way his grandmother died. Well, he shouldn’t and, more importantly, neither should her children.

It can be easy to judge without knowing the full facts. Nonetheless, this is an appalling way for an old lady to die, without any of her large family even noticing.

The article continues to highlight the plight of the elderly in the UK, and suggests Britain has one of the worst records for looking after the elderly.

Latest research from charity Age Concern shows that more than 3.5 million older people live alone and many do not have regular visitors or any opportunity to get out of the house.

One in five people over 65 are alone for more than 12 hours a day. They are more at risk of depression and ill-health caused by isolation and loneliness.

I find it heartbreaking that more than a quarter of people over 65 do not have a best friend.

Yet having friends can increase your life expectancy by seven years.

It concludes that we all have responsibility for the elderly in our society, starting with our own family.

Meeting the needs of both genders can ease tensions

USA Today meets John Gray, a family therapist and author of the popular book Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, who explains that the basic needs of men and women are quite different, and left unnoticed, can be the cause of ongoing arguments.

Women’s three basic emotional needs are to feel cared about, understood and respected, Gray says. He believes men’s emotional needs are to feel trusted, accepted and appreciated.

To meet each other’s needs and avoid repeating the same arguments, husbands and wives may need to change their response, tone of voice or attitude.

Gray addresses some of the stereotypical traits and responses of the two genders to one another, such as women ‘going on and on’ and men trying to come up with a solution and then saying “That’s not a big deal. Don’t worry about it.”

He concludes that men and women really want the same thing:

“She wants him to make her happy. He wants to make her happy. They both want the same thing.”

Read the full article: If emotional needs are met, calm prevails

Tips for parents of children with cancer

Health24.com writes to parents of children diagnosed with cancer, on how to approach this difficult subject at a devastating time.

• Be honest and truthful about the disease
• Get the facts straight
• Bring reassurance
• Be sympathetic but not over-indulgent
• Get a good doctor
• Handle mood swings
• Assure children of your constant love
• Care for yourself

Read the full article, which explains these points in greater detail: Tips for parents of children with cancer

Age no barrier to sex, survey says

Sexual relationships are a quality of life issue that continues well past the age of 50, says Sallie Foley, an adjunct professor in the School of Social Work at the University of Michigan.

Older adults desire fun, excitement and passion in relationships and sex, often associated with one’s younger years.

Whether it’s feeling ashamed or embarrassed, couples do not discuss love, relationship and sex, she said. They use euphemisms rather than communicating honestly with each other, she said. Some older adults also don’t know where to obtain relationship information specific to their situation. When they do find this information�a magazine article about sex, for example, �they do not know how to broach the subject with their partners, Foley said.

“People are hungry for practical advice in dating and sex, as well as resolving long-standing arguments,” Foley said.

Read the full article: Aging Does Not End Sex, Relationships, Says Expert

Stroller Strides and Moxie Moms Collaborate to Provide Women With Rewarding, Family-Friendly Careers

Press Release

With the New Year almost here, many women are evaluating their choice of career and looking for a work environment that is family-friendly, while at the same time, challenging and fulfilling.

Stroller Strides, a stroller fitness exercise program, and Moxie Moms, a centralized community-based resource for moms, are partnering up to offer “mom-trepreneurs” the best of both worlds – a home-based, family-centered business for a woman who wants to center her life around her family, not her job. The two businesses teamed up largely because they served the exact same audience – mothers who were looking for fitness, friendship and good value for their family’s hard-earned dollars.

“Stroller Strides and Moxie Moms provide an extremely important service to moms - helping them get fit, create friendships, have fun and save money - truly an unbeatable combination!” according to Lisa Druxman, Stroller Strides founder.

At their core, Moxie Moms and Stroller Strides are both moms’ groups, offering lots of events. While Stroller Strides offers group fitness classes, Moxie Moms is a marketing services company, promoting local businesses that serve moms and offering members substantial discounts.

“The owner of a Stroller Strides franchise and an Moxie Mom area manager are very complimentary roles since they serve the same audience,” said Susan Lavelle who started Moxie Moms in Boulder, CO in 2003. “It’s very beneficial for both the business owner and for the moms who are her customers.”

Jacqueline Lebihan from Austin, TX, owns the local Stroller Strides and is also a Moxie Mom area manager. “I am excited about Moxie Moms because it is just a natural extension of Stroller Strides,” she said. “We are now able to negotiate with local area retailers and service providers to obtain discounts for our members, and as a mom on a budget every savings helps! Even more exciting, is that we are able to support locally owned businesses through a co-op of moms.”

“I love being able to stay home with my kids AND run a business that helps stay-at-home moms, working moms, working-from-home moms and everything in-between,” she continued. “I manage both simultaneously by keeping the end goal in mind - helping moms be successful in motherhood and in all they’re other pursuits. When your focus is helping others, the work behind it doesn’t feel like work!”

Rachel Heyer from Portland, OR concurs. “I have met great women through my work with Stroller Strides and joining Moxie Moms has helped me to better serve them. I am able to provide great services and be a resource to moms while gaining great relationships with local businesses and service providers.”

Other territories that have a Stroller Strides/Moxie Mom partnership include Weston FL; Richmond, VA; Phoenix, AZ; Littleton, CO; Seattle, WA as well as locations in the Bay Area, in Monterey and in Santa Cruz, CA.

MOXIE MOMS (www.moxie-moms.com)- Self-described as a “very social person,” with a background in sales & marketing, Lavelle started Moxie Moms after realizing just how important moms were in terms of their buying power.

“As a group, moms are a formidable force of consumers,” she said. “I thought, what if we could harness that power and create consumer strength in numbers. So I began approaching businesses and asking, would you give us a discount if we all – all thirty of us - bought from you and not your competitors?”

The answer from most businesses was a resounding “yes.” So Lavelle, with help from her husband Joe, built the first Moxie Moms in Boulder, and then slowly began replicating that same formula in other markets. “The whole purpose is to connect moms with information, coupons, discounts, playgroups, fitness programs, etc.,” she explained. “Each market has an area manager who is supported via a centralized infrastructure on the Internet. Each area manager is an independent contractor who devotes about five – ten hours a week and is paid on commission, based on membership fees, advertising, and marketing partnerships.”

STROLLER STRIDES (www.strollerstrides.com)- Similarly, Lisa Druxman from San Diego, CA founded Stroller Strides in 2001 with the premise working out with a baby in a stroller was not only an alternative to going to the gym, but preferable. Moms across the nation agreed, and today Stroller Strides is the largest stroller fitness program in the nation, offering classes in more than 200 locations from Tampa, FL to Seattle, WA.

“Stroller Strides has really struck a chord for women across the country – not only as a popular way to workout but also as a tremendous business opportunity for women,” said Druxman, explaining the popularity of the growing business. “Our goal has always been to encourage moms to be in a family-friendly business that supports motherhood,” she continued. “Most new moms don’t have an MBA and most do not want to work 9-5. But they do want a career that challenges them, is financially profitable and affords them the opportunity to make a contribution to their community.”

Contact:
Susan Lavelle
Moxie Moms
303-413-0852
http://www.moxie-moms.com

Lynne Latronica
Stroller Strides
805-773-1000
http://www.strollerstrides.com

Work-life balance; networked family; changing attitudes

There’s a very interesting article published on Yahoo!, originally from BusinessWeek which highlights the changing face of the family.

Entitled Overworked, Networked Family, it examines the shift in work-life balance - a phrase often used in our time-poor lives.

Some of the main issues and observations made:

• It suggests that ‘balance’ is the wrong word to use: ‘Transformation’ would be better.
• Parents and children are no longer on the same schedule.
• Family links are now often more about the use of technology.
• Families need to transform their attitude towards technology from an oppressor into a liberator.
• Historically, the family model has mirrored the organisation of the workplace.
• The combined workweek of a husband and wife in their prime working years with children is 68 hours, up from 59 hours in 1979.
• Standards for a healthy, emotionally rich family life are a lot higher than they used to be
• You have to control the technology and make it work for you, not work you.
• It’s still important to put in boundaries between work and home

Read the full article: The Overworked, Networked Family

Analysis of the “teflon spouse”

Jeff Herring writes for the Billings Gazette about ‘teflon spouses’:

No matter what the issue, some folks are verbally skilled and manipulative enough to turn the issue back around and put it on you.

I call these folks “teflon spouses.” As in, nothing sticks to them.

Now in no way am I saying that you have to take the blame for everything to be a good spouse. I am saying that you do have to take responsibility for your part in the relationship in order to be a good spouse.

He says that there is a time in the life of every problem when it is big enough to notice, but small enough to easily do something about. It’s about recognising the other person, and any small cracks in the relationship, before they become too big to handle.

Read the full article: ‘Teflon spouses’ undermine health of relationships
Visit Jeff’s website: jeffherring.com

Adultery Is Killing the American Family

GUEST OPINION: Adultery Is Killing the American Family

Nathan Tabor

OPINION - We hear a lot of talk these days about the need to protect and strengthen the traditional American family. Certainly, it is true that the institution of marriage is under attack from every side. But the real threat comes from the multitudes of couples that fail to honor their marriage vows.

Adultery is one of the most terrible “facts of life” in contemporary America. If you watch the daily soap operas on TV many of which are just soft-core pornography you might get the impression that there are more people cheating on their spouses than remaining faithful. And you might be right.

How many people have affairs? That¹s hard to say because not everybody will answer honestly. But sex therapist Peggy Vaughan, author of The Monogamy Myth conservatively estimates that about 60 percent of married men and 40 percent of married women will have an affair at some time during their marriage. Maggie Scarf, author of Intimate Partners basically agrees.

Since these books were written more than a decade ago, and since more women are leaving the home and entering the workforce, the number of wives having affairs may also have reached the 60 percent range.

Americans have a schizophrenic attitude toward adultery.

While 90 percent admit that adultery is morally wrong, according to a Time-CNN poll, 50 percent say that President Bill Clinton¹s morals are “about the same as the average married man.” While 35 percent think that adultery should be a crime, 61 percent think it shouldn¹t.

Having an affair simply doesn¹t carry the social stigma that it once did.

According to Playboy magazine, 2 out of 3 women and 3 out of 4 men have sexual thoughts about their coworkers, and about the same number follow through on those libidinous impulses.

Why do husbands and wives cheat on their spouses? Psychologists cite subjective issues like loss of love and feelings of alienation. Certainly the media pressure of our sex-saturated society is a significant influence.

But a major factor is the easy availability of cheap and plentiful Internet pornography.

Statistics show that 25 percent of all Internet search engine requests are related to pornography.

According to the National Coalition for the Protection of Children and Families, “approximately 40 million people in the United States are sexually involved with the Internet.” And while 76 percent of women feel that phone sex or cyber-sex is the equivalent of committing adultery, only 41 percent of men do.

Dr. Alvin Cooper and MSNBC.com conducted an online poll of 38,000 people, and 10 percent admitted that they were addicted to Internet pornography.

What’s more, a lot of those Internet sex addicts eventually progress from cyber-sex to real-time sexual affairs.

Some legal professionals estimate that as many as one-third of all divorces may have their roots in Internet porn or online affairs. “If there’s dissatisfaction in the existing relationship, the Internet is an easy way for people to scratch the itch,” explains J. Lindsey Short, Jr., president of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers.

The pain and suffering caused by adultery is immense, especially for children. They are more likely never to marry, or to later divorce, if they had divorced or cheating parents. After a divorce, many children are unable ever to develop strong, trusting relationships.

There is a direct correlation between the steady decline of morals and values in America and this more accepting contemporary attitude toward adultery. Part of the reason is because most people have forgotten what a marriage really is.

Marriage is more than just a legal status recognized by the state, or even a temporary social contract between two people.

True marriage is a solemn covenant relationship between a man, a woman and God. It is a hallowed institution that should be revered, cherished, and preserved.

The act of adultery is childish and selfish, and it hurts everyone involved.

It violates at least two of the Ten Commandments: the clear prohibitions against committing adultery and coveting your neighbor’s spouse.

If we care about the future of our great nation, we as a people must relearn the virtue and necessity of staying committed to the spouses to whom we are married.

Nathan Tabor is a conservative political activist based in Kernersville, North Carolina, where he owns a successful small business and was recently a candidate for Congress. A Public Policy graduate of the Robertson School of Government at Regent University, Tabor is widely regarded as a rising star in Republican politics. Contact him at Nathan@nathantabor.com. Permission for republication granted by www.theconservativevoice.com

Book Review: A Father’s Memoir about raising a Gifted Child with Autism

Bonnie Sayers, BellaOnline’s Autism Spectrum Disorders Editor, has reviewed A Father’s Memoir about raising a Gifted Child with Autism by Daniel Mont.

Conference for mothers; rejuvenating busy mom’s spirits

The Catholic Spirit writes about the forthcoming “A Faith Lift for Moms” conference.

Corey Carlson says:

“For us, it was just an intuitive thing that all mothers need this,” she said. “No matter what role you have in life, you need affirmation. . . . There are doctors’ conferences, lawyers’ conferences, and conferences for every career out there, but none for moms.

“For mothers, this is the most important role you’re going to have,” she added.

The conference covers such topics as:

• Prayer and spirituality
• Personal wellness
• Family relationships
• History of motherhood’s Christian roots

Read the full article: ‘A Faith Lift for Moms’ aimed at
rejuvenating busy moms’ spirituality

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