Love no longer blind with Internet research

Blind dates may be a thing of the past if new patterns of dating become popular.

Internet-savvy daters are turning to the Web to research potential partners before meeting them.

Some would-be daters want to remove the elements of fate and luck attributable to finding a partner, and replace them with rationality.

Complete anonymity is well-nigh impossible with new technology, the Internet being a ‘little black book’ and a clearinghouse to meet and research potential dates.

Some have their doubts over how successful this is. What really matters in dating, they say, is the how well people get along, and whether they are attracted to one another, and no amount of technology is going to alter that fundamental issue.

Read the full article: Singles visit online search engines to research potential love interests

Jealousy management needed for healthy relationships

Jealousy can kill a marriage relationship.

Jealousy is often caused by a childhood trauma, such as the divorce of parents, or abandonment.

It’s important to look for the causes of the jealousy towards a partner, recognise times when it is strong, and learn to deal with it.

Jealousy is drain on a relationship, and on self-esteem. It can leave both partners feeling depressed and exhausted.

Read the full article, containing real examples and practical guidance: Managing jealousy helps relationships.

Workaholics better lovers?

A new study from Louisiana Tech suggests that men who are workaholics may also be ‘better at sex’.

The study tracked 100 couples willing to keep a record of their sex-lives for one year.

Whilst other areas of a relationship can suffer when a partner has an unhealthy work-life balance, the physical, sexual relationship does not seem to.

This may be attributable to increase male confidence, which can be a sexual stimulant.

Relationships may suffer where the man feels intellectually inferior to their partner.

Read the full article: Workaholics champions between sheets

Advice for new college students: know the boundaries

Jamie Young writes an article aimed at young adults about to move away from home to college.

Her main point is to know your boundaries, particularly if you were brought up in a home where there were no consistent parental rules in place.

At the start of college, the rules you may have been used to have all but gone. You are in control of what you do.

It’s all too easy for a freshman to go astray, doing things they wouldn’t have tried at home, when the need for acceptance and friendship can lead to succumbing to peer pressure.

Set boundaries early.

Other advice includes personally getting to know lecturers.

Read the full article: Advice for new college students

Threat of virtual adultery increases with Internet popularity

Mention extra-marital affairs, and most people think of secret meetings, furtive phone calls and booking into hotels under a false name.

A modern twist on this is the cyber-affair.

Whilst many dismiss the notion that relationships that form online can be adulterous, those that discover a partner involved in such activities know the real and damaging effects it can have.

The allure of a distant relationship with no strings attached can seem more appealing than the primary, real-world relationship.

The internet also offers certain advantages for the cyber-cheater: relative anonymity, ease and affordability of access, and a huge selection of services to use and people to ‘meet’.

These relationships often start in chat rooms, and can become quite sexual in nature. Sex is not the only attraction, though: sometimes it’s simply about contact with another human being.

Partners who find out what’s going on speak of a range of emotions: anger, desperation, depression, hopelessness, vengeful, loss of trust. What seems particularly hurtful is that the betrayal often happens in the home.

There’s currently no clear profile of the sort of person who cheats online, or why.

As the Internet becomes more prominent in the home, this new temptation has the potential to cause more problems.

Whilst the Internet can be used for many good things, couples need to be wary of its overuse. They should continue to keep open communication about their relationship, bringing up problems and issues quickly. Doing regular ‘health checks’ on a relationship will reduce the risk of unfaithfulness, however it’s pursued.

Read the full article, including real examples of the problem: Virtual adultery

Daughters follow mother’s relationship patterns

A new study suggests that daughters follow the example of their mother in relationship habits.

Young adult women whose mother cohabited were 57% more likely than other women to do so themselves.

The trend was different for sons: their relationships were based more on whether their mother had been divorced or had their first child at an early age.

The evidence appears to be clear, even taking into account other factors known to have strong links to cohabitation, such as poverty, race and education.

Read the full article: Women Who Cohabit Have Daughters Who Do the Same

Long-distance relationships more likely to last

A new study suggests that the old adage “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” really could be true.

An associate professor at Purdue University suggests that distance can work wonders for a relationship.

Long-distance relationships have a greater longevity than geographically-close ones, because the nature of their outworking is different.

Those involved in local relationships tend to share activities, and familiarity can cause boredom in the other person’s life because they already feel they know everything about them.

Long-distance relationships are generally built on open communication; they talk more about the relationship, have fewer trivial arguments, and manage to separate work and relationship time.

Couples living far apart make greater use of email and telephone, and make more of an effort to remind themselves of their partner.

Read the full article: If you want a happy life, send your beloved far away!

“Super daters” have positive effect on others’ lives

New research by an Oxford graduate suggests that ’super daters’ ‚Äî people who have a large number of short relationships ‚Äî have a good effect on other people’s relationships, because they break up weak couples and force their ‘victims’ to find better relationships.

He sees a similarity between the probability of the nucleus of an atom decaying and that of a couple breaking up.

To model the phenomenon, he wrote a computer program which placed “software singles”, people seeking partners, in an imaginary social network.

Each single had a set of interests, which they also looked for in potential partners.

The research suggested that multiple daters, those who form many relationships, were less effective at finding the right partner than those who remained in one place and let others come to them.

“If you have a complex network and you stay in one site you see more traffic coming through,” he said. “It’s a denser network, so there are more possible matches.”

It’s an interesting piece of research, though perhaps a little too reliant on science. It also uses questionable morals - that of people finding healthier relationships because of being broken up by ’super daters’.

Read the full article: Physics enlisted to help singles

Knowledge of family history may help protect your health

Family inheritence works on more than just physical features; medical conditions such as high blood pressure, diabetes or a susceptibility to cancer can also be passed down through the generations.

Looking into the health history of your family can help in maintaining good health. Though it may seem a little morbid, taking time to look at what conditions family members may have died from can help medical experts assess what your risk of developing a condition may be.

Read the full article: Knowing Family History Can Help Protect Health

Retirement can place great strain on marriage

Relationship experts say that retirement can place great strains on a marriage, as both partners adjust to spending much more time with one another.

Men in particular can struggle after a full working life.

Some marriages end in divorce after retirement, as often little preparation beyond financial planning is undertaken.

“Couples tend to think about the financial side of retiring and they assume all will be well,” Relationships Australia counsellor Mr Simmons said.

“No one does much preparation, but it’s a dangerous time. This should be the best time of your lives, but it’s also when you should guard the health of your relationship.”

“The traditional picture of retirement is that you go off into the twilight and it is all joy and happiness. That can be the case, but it’s not always a fairy story.”

Read the full article: Retiring hard on marriage

Nuclear family is a myth

New research suggests that the concept of the self-reliant, self-sufficient ‘Nuclear Family’ is well and truly over:

Working parents rely on a network of caregivers - a source of positive bonds, stress when childcare is insufficient or inflexible Waltham, Mass. - Despite the long-cherished belief that the nuclear family is independent and self-sustaining, most families with working parents depend on a network of care to manage work and family demands, according to research by Brandeis University sociologist Karen Hansen. More than half of all U.S. households with young children have two employed parents.

Closing the “care gap” in families with young and school-aged children typically means relying on a network of friends, paid caregivers and extended kin. This reality clashes with the ideology of family independence, a defining American value. Hansen’s research suggests, however, that the interdependence of today’s families is a source of positive relationships and unique bonds that the nuclear family alone cannot provide.

“The historical idea of the nuclear family, which is deeply rooted in our culture, is linked to our sense of individualism and autonomy,” explains Hansen, whose study of working parents and the networks of caregiving they develop forms the basis of a new book, Not-So-Nuclear Families: Class, Gender and Networks of Care.

Read the full article: The self-reliant nuclear family is a myth, research reveals

Marriage initiative strives to improve relationships

In 1999, Keating launched the Oklahoma Marriage Initiative to strengthen marriage and reduce the divorce rate in the state. The initial impetus was an economic study linking various negative social indicators - including high divorce rates - to the state’s poorly performing economy.

“The governor’s decision to help strengthen marriages and reduce divorce is reinforced by the consensus of social science research, which finds that children reared in single-parent families are at higher risk of poverty, having difficulties in the labor market and becoming teen parents and high school dropouts,” said Howard Hendrick, cabinet secretary for Heath and Human Services and director of the Department of Human Services in an introduction OMI. “Generally, children do better when reared by their married parents, but the quality of the parents’ relationship matters. Therefore, helping more couples develop and maintain stable and healthy marriages is sound public policy.”

Read the full article: Marriage Initiative strives to improve relationships

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