Premarital counselling can help relationships thrive

The thought of counselling before getting married, with the connotations that counselling conjurs up, and all the stresses of planning and preparation for the wedding day itself, may be a daunting one, but senior pastor at Athens First Presbyterian Church for one believes they are an essential ingredient in the pre-marital build-up.

Certainly in Britain, couples wanting to get married in the Anglican church must attend one or more sessions with the vicar who will marry them. However, a more in-depth approach may be what’s needed.

Glenn Doak, senior pastor at Athens First Presbyterian Church, said his sessions with engaged couples are less a compatibility test for the relationship than a way for the couple to prepare for the needs of a marriage. He talks with couples about everything from their relationships with their soon-to-be in-laws to their expectations for their life 10 years after their wedding.

At times, the discussions about topics like finances and children are firsts for both partners.

“Sometimes, they’ve talked about all these things and it’s just a chance to talk about it in front of someone else. Other people haven’t talked about any of these things. There are some surprises. Some people sit up and take notice,” Doak said.

Even if there are no revelations, the opportunity to talk through important issues that face every marriage - money, children, goals, work, home - is refreshing.

Even non-religious couples would benefit from going through at least basic marriage preparation.

It seems that premarital counseling actually equips couples with the tools they’ll need to weather the storms that will come. Every couple is going to have arguments, they’re going to face trials of some form or another,” Self (director of public policy at the Georgia Family Council) said. “I think, typically, we assume that because we love someone and are committed to them, that really is perhaps all we need. Certainly, that’s great, but there are some really basic tools - communication styles, ways to handle conflict - that if couples are able to get that down, then ultimately they’re just able to weather that better.”

Read the full article: Experts say premarital counseling can help relationships thrive