Saving relationships: role of the therapist

Couples who are trying to patch up a troubled union often turn to counseling as a last-ditch effort to keep the marriage intact. That’s what marital therapy is all about, right?

Not necessarily, some therapists say.

Angie and Sam Juniper have been married for ten years. Angie is a marriage counsellor with New Hope Christian Counseling and says that if couples are having problems each spouse must take a look at what they can change to improve their marriage.

Many couples probably don’t know that there is a long-standing debate among practitioners over whether therapists actively should try to save a marriage or whether they should remain neutral and treat the couple as two individuals for whom divorce possibly could be the best outcome.

One veteran marriage and family therapist, William Doherty at the University of Minnesota, is among those who take the marriage-saving view. He believes therapists have been too neutral - particularly since the 1970s - and have focused on the individual. They’re so neutral that they are sabotaging marriages, he said. He also is among those who say that too many therapists aren’t sufficiently trained to counsel couples and that the profession isn’t regulated consistently, so consumers don’t really know what they are getting.

So last week, Doherty launched a therapist-finder registry called the National Registry of Marriage Friendly Therapists (www.marriagefriendlytherapists.com), designed to weed out those whose skills don’t meet his standards. And his list will include only therapists who sign a values statement supporting marriage and vowing to seek consultation if the therapist believes the couple is moving toward a premature divorce.

Read the full article: Saving relationships