Time for a relationship MOT?

RELATIONSHIPS are like cars. They need a bit of work and necessary repairs are better done sooner rather than later.‚Ä®‚Ä®That’s the advice from Relate Hertfordshire, the service based on Parkway, WGC, whose experts also hold sessions in Hatfield.‚Ä®‚Ä®They are offering a service much like a mechanic - they will discuss what you think the problem is, diagnose a course of action and seek permission to go ahead with the work.‚Ä®‚Ä®Sue Andrew, director of Relate Herts Central, said families, couples, and even people on their own often know they need some assistance to deal with the kind of issues that go round in circles without resolution, or problems that are ignored or fought over.‚Ä®‚Ä®”Stress points in any relationship included major life changes such as a new baby, redundancy, a serious illness, retirement or bereavement,” she said.

Link (whtimes.co.uk)

Relationships Improve Life Quality After Prostate Cancer Treatment

New research shows men who are married or in a committed relationship are more likely to have an improved quality of life following prostate cancer treatment.

Researchers from UCLA studied 291 patients enrolled in a program providing free treatment to impoverished, uninsured men with prostate cancer. The participants answered lengthy questionnaires to assess the impact of relationships on cancer treatment.

Results showed partnered patients were more likely to have elected surgical therapy than men without partners (49 percent vs. 34 percent) and also reported a better psychosocial and spiritual well-being.

Link (ivanhoe.com)

Children of incarcerated mothers exhibit poor attachment to caregivers

Children of imprisoned mothers generally have insecure relationships with their mothers and caregivers, according to a new study published in the May/June issue of the journal Child Development. However, the children were more likely to have secure relationships with their caregivers if they were living in a stable environment.

Link (I-Newswire.com)

Researchers delve into the meaning of happiness

Peggy Reising seemed to have all the touchstones of a perfectly happy life.

She had a marriage that lasted, children she loved, a beautiful home and her own computer-training business.

Yet when she was asked to rate her level of happiness from that period of her life — with 10 representing “extremely happy” and 0 representing “extremely unhappy” — Reising gave her life a 3.

“It just seemed I was on a merry-go-round with work, raising teenagers and being married,” Reising of Indianapolis recalls. “I hit a point that I believe everybody hits. I call it ‘the dark night of the soul.’ I had lost me. I just decided I wanted to be happier.”

The pursuit of happiness is mentioned as a primary concern in the Declaration of Independence. It’s a hot topic for talk shows and self-help books. It’s also a growing focus for research.

Link (courier-journal.com)

The thin line between love and lust

You meet a drop-dead gorgeous man.

He is the best thing that has happened to you in a long time and you can’t help but think about him all day: his smile, his eyes, his great body. You feel head over heels in love, or, perhaps, it is lust. What difference does it make, anyway?

According to counsellor and relationship expert Rose Gitu, there is a huge difference. “Love and lust are exactly opposite and they are in conflict with one another. Love honours, values and cares for the other person, with selflessness and commitment as its proof, therefore, love is a relationship,” she says.

Lust, on the other hand, selfishly aims to satisfy a person‚Äôs needs and desires without respecting or caring about the other person, avoiding any form of commitment.”

Link (Style &amp Substance)

South Africa family killings

South Africa has the highest number of women killed by their partners in the world. This was revealed by the Medical Research Council (MRC) to the Parliamentary committee on the improvement of life and status of women.

The council has been conducting a two year study on Intimate Femicide since 2002. It found that 88 in a million women aged 14 years and older were killed every year. Intimate femicide, or women killed by their intimate partners, is seen as the most serious form of domestic violence. The MRC says 40% to 70% of female murder victims in the world, are killed by an intimate partner every year.

Link (SABC News)

Andy Roddick and Deliver the Dream Team Up to Help Families

Pat Moran, founder of Deliver the Dream, is pleased to announce that Andy Roddick, currently the No. 1 tennis player in the U.S., will serve as spokesperson for the not-for-profit organization which provides retreat weekends for families facing serious illness or crisis.

Roddick recently recorded a public service announcement for the family retreat program that will begin airing in cities throughout the Southeast. According to Roddick, he immediately knew he wanted to get involved after learning about Deliver the Dream, which is based in his hometown and serves families from across the Southeast.

“When a child or parent is seriously ill, Deliver the Dream is there to help the entire family find the strength to prevail. It’s this unique approach to providing support that attracted me to this incredible program,” Roddick said. “I’m really looking forward to attending my first retreat weekend and doing whatever I can to help Pat’s organization further its mission and raise money to help children and families.”

Link (Business Wire)

Gals have innate need for pals

Women are keepers of each other’s secrets, boosters of one another’s wavering confidence, co-conspirators in life’s adventures. Through laughter, tears and an inexhaustible river of talk, they keep each other well, and make each other better.

Across species and throughout human cultures, females have banded together for protection and mutual support. They have groomed each other, tended each other’s young, nursed each other in illness and engaged in the kind of aimless sociability that has generally mystified male anthropologists.

But the power of girlfriends is beginning to yield its secrets to science.

Link (azcentral.com / Los Angeles Times)

Study depicts peril, hope for children of jailed mothers

For a young child whose mother is imprisoned, life’s prospects are predictably grim.

But a new study, the first empirical examination of the attachment relationships of young children whose mothers are in prison, suggests that simple interventions may prevent a downward social spiral for a rapidly growing and vulnerable population.

The critical finding of the study, published in the current issue (May/June 2005) of the journal Child Development, is that children placed in a stable home environment fare far better than those bounced from one home to another.

Children placed in a single, secure setting are “much better off” than those who are not in a stable caregiving situation, says study author Julie Poehlmann, a UW-Madison professor of human development and family studies and a researcher at the Waisman Center. “Almost one-third of the kids in this study are doing well in their relationships.”

Link (University of Wisconsin)

Three common problems in a marriage

The key to a successful and happy relationship is the willingness of the couple to work hard at keeping their relationship healthy.

There is no ‘perfect’ marriage. But there are many couples who have managed to work through their differences and keep their marriages vibrant and alive.

On their journey to ironing their differences, here are some classic complaints that couples have:

1. We have nothing in common! At times, we don’t know what to say to each other!

2. We love each other very much, but my husband/ wife does not understand me at all!

3. We fight a lot about expenses. We just can’t see eye to eye on this matter!

Read more (rediff.com)

Study highlights condom crisis

Many young people are putting themselves at risk because they do not use condoms consistently or correctly, a major new charity study has revealed today.

A study by Brook, the London-based sexual health charity for young people, found that only about a third (37%) of sexually-active young men reported using condoms whenever they had sex.

In most cases condoms were used mainly for contraceptive reasons rather than to prevent sexually-transmitted infections (STIs) like HIV and chlamydia.

But their effectiveness is often compromised because they were not always used properly, with the condom either put on too late or removed too early.

Link (Community Newswire)

New site helps to identify stress when caring for an aging relative

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, by 2030 the senior population (65+) will outnumber that of school-age children. With the growing number of seniors in America, many more family members will find themselves in the role of caring for an aging relative/parent. “While providing assistance for an aging family member can be rewarding, this meaningful experience may be coupled with exhaustion, elevated levels of stress, inadequate resources and failure to take care of oneself,” explains Paul Hogan, president and founder of Home Instead Senior Care, the world’s largest provider of non-medical home care services for aging adults. To help family caregivers deal with the onset of stress as a result of caregiving, the eldercare experts at Home Instead Senior Care have created a new, interactive online Caregiver Stress Assessment Tool, available at the newly launched web site http://www.caregiverstress.com

Article link (Yahoo!)

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